


Every Second Counts

by DorkPatroller (Lilmissprine)



Series: Life After Time Stops (Dorks With Timers) [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Soulmates, dorks in dorms, just for the way it's worded, smut starting in chapter 4, then regular smut after that, there's gonna be fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-19 22:17:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7379632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilmissprine/pseuds/DorkPatroller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niles never had a functioning timer, and he had come to terms with not having a soulmate a long time ago. Owain has no business being as cute as he is. It really isn't very fair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "I think I prefer dork."

**Author's Note:**

> I love Soulmate Aus try and stop me. 
> 
> I saw literally no reason for Owain and Inigo not to go by their actual names so surprise! that's what i'm going with.

Niles dropped his heavy duffle bag onto the lower bunk of the bed. His shoulder ached where he'd carried it through their tour and up those stairs. The bed was made of wood (cheap wood—would this really hold an adult human?) and the top bunk had a railing, but no ladder. Clearly, he thought, this was a critical thinking exercise for the students who stayed in dorms.

He planted his foot on the lower mattress and with an easy motion he hoisted himself up to look at the top bunk. No one had claimed it yet. His new roommate had yet to arrive.

He stepped down and began to survey the room. It was relatively empty. There was the bunk bed, a single desk (sharing is caring, after all) by the door, and a closet in the corner. Another door led to the bathroom and... through the bathroom was another dorm, which completed the suite. There was nothing spectacular or out of the ordinary. It was boring.

Niles still wasn't sure how their room assignments got scrambled. He had signed up to share the dorm with Leo, but Leo ended up being assigned to the other side of the suite. That meant both of them had to share a room with strangers. It also meant he had to pretend to care about the people they were sharing the suite with.

He had no business even attending college anyway. It wasn't his territory. He had survived high school with luck and Leo's persuasion, and that should have been plenty. Deep down he supposed he should be grateful that Leo's family cared for him enough to literally fund his college education. It was touching. And... because they had enough faith in him to pay for his schooling, he supposed he would have to try and succeed, lest he waste their money.

He still hadn't picked out a major yet. As far as he knew he had a year or two before they would crack down on him for that. For now he just wanted to knock out electives and try to figure out what he should even do with his life.

Leo came through the door that led to the bathroom—the doors that joined their rooms—and he took a seat on the edge of the bottom bunk. He was a nerd if Niles had ever seen one. The plaid shirt and glasses really worked to complete his 'studious' look. He crossed one of his legs over the other and asked “So? What do you think?”

“I think it's far below your prissy standards—but I'll live.” Niles answered the question easily. It was nicer than his previous living situation, so... he couldn't complain. Not really. Leo on the other hand came from a wealthy household and a huge bed that was probably filled with golden feathers. He would have to make some adjustments.

He glanced at Leo's arm. This was at least the third time today he had done so. The timer on his wrist was getting low. He would be meeting his soulmate, soon.

Soulmates.

Everyone was born with a timer, oftentimes on their wrist or their forearm. The timer was ticking down to a very specific date and moment in time: the moment when that person met their soulmate. Their soulmate was, of course, the only person in the world who would have the same timer. They would also be perfect for them.

Soulmates were important. They were made for each other. In spite of the flaws that they may have had, they would love each other blindly. Soulmates loved each other the way people loved in fantasies. Leo was Niles' very best friend... and so he was very interested in who his soulmate would be. It looked like he still had a couple of weeks left, but... well it was interesting that Leo would be meeting his soulmate in his first semester of college.

Some people met their soulmates very young. They would meet as children and grow into lovers over time. Others met their soulmates when they were adults. It hardly mattered when or how... because the result was always the same. That person was their forever.

Niles glanced down at his own wrist. It always read the same thing. 00:00:00:00. It had read that since the day he was born. It had never counted down to anything.

Sometimes timers just didn't work right. It was rare, but it happened. The biology behind them was still hard to understand, and research hadn't done much to clarify why these rarities occurred. Some people were just born different. Some people were born without timers at all. They never had a soulmate, and they never would. Those people were labeled from the day they were born, they were called _lonelies_. They were treated differently. Some people thought they were sad, and pitied them. Some people thought they were lucky, because they were not bound to wait for fate to hand them a lover. They were free to fuck around with whoever they wanted.

Niles wasn't 'technically' considered a lonely. He had a timer, it just never worked. People saw the zeroes on his wrist and assumed he had already met his soulmate. That was good... because he'd never been fond of people offering him pity.

Niles had never been told he had a soulmate. There was no evidence that he did. The few times in his life that he had ever bothered to research his timer and it's specific condition... well he had been rewarded with the same information, over and over. “Not likely.” It was not likely that he had a soulmate.

He supposed he was alright with that. He had always been better off on his own anyway. Save for Leo, and his family, Niles didn't particularly care about anyone or anything else. And... as an added bonus, he quite enjoyed getting to know other people who had no soulmate but were desperate for a few hours of makeshift love.

Niles looked away from his arm, and back at Leo's timer. It ticked down seconds evenly and silently. It was almost soothing to watch. Certainly a distraction if Niles had ever seen one.

He met Leo some time when they were in elemetary school. Niles lived in a shelter at the time, and he went to a cheap public school and got a mediocre education. Leo by no means attended that school. He attended a private school with uniforms and plaid pants and little bowties.

Every day when Leo walked to and from school he walked with his sister, Camilla. She was a couple years older and never let people walk all over her. They walked up the sidewalk in front of the shelter every morning and every afternoon. Niles knew their routine like clockwork. Then one day Camilla wasn't there, and for his life Niles couldn't remember if she was sick or had an activity or what... but he vividly remembered one of the other boys who lived in the shelter pushing Leo down. Niles came to defend him.

They became best friends, somehow.

For the rest of his life after that, Niles had mooched that family. Not financially. By no means did he take their wealth. He mooched their _love_. Camilla's hugs and the way Elise held both of his hands when she was excited. He stole the proud glances Xander gave him or the little squeals Corrin did when she was happy. He spent plenty of time with Leo, of course, but also equal time with his siblings. He spent nights there, spent days there. He practically lived there, with them, like an extra brother.

Leo and his family treated him like he was important, and like he belonged... and in exchange Niles knew that he would always, _always_ be loyal to them. They were the closest thing to a family that he had! And, in his noble opinion... being loyal to them meant ensuring that Leo's future soulmate treated him right.

When they eventually met, that was.

“I think if we get some furniture in here it will make it more home-y.” Leo said. Niles blinked twice and looked back up at the room. Leo pointed at the space across from the bed, on the opposite wall. “There's an outlet there, and plenty of space. I imagine we could put a small sofa and television in here, if nothing else. We can find some relatively inexpensive furniture, I'm sure.”

Niles nodded his head. “If that's--” He was forced to stop talking because the door opened. He supposed that meant that his roommate had arrived. Two men entered the room, though, not just one. They were very... loud. They were laughing about gods knew what.

One of them had pink hair. He had to lift his finger to his eye to dab at it, like he was laughing so hard he was shedding tears. Niles was mostly focused on the hair. He didn't admittedly see that particular shade on many men. It was a hair color that was natural in many places, but... most of the time men who inherited it just... dyed it.

He must have noticed Leo and Niles because he stopped laughing so he could smile at them, bright and wide. “Oh—well hello!” He said, and Niles had never heard that accent before. It was very... sugary. It sounded like the sort of voice that belonged to a man in a novel, or maybe a chick flick.

“You beat us here? _Incredible!_ A daunting task, when you consider just how early we arrived.”

For what it was worth he wasn't wrong. Niles thought that when he first heard the voice. Leo had insisted that they arrive bright and early so they could be the crowds trying to get all of their paperwork figured out.

...That said, the one who said that didn't have a frilly accent. He just sounded like an idiot. Niles cocked an eyebrow in his direction, but when he was met with him his expression mellowed, somewhat.

He was very cute. _Very cute_. Niles didn't even like that the thought had entered his mind. He was tall and sort of lanky looking, and he looked like an absolute _dork_. Blonde with light, light freckles and dark brown eyes that reflected the light in a very 'amber' way.

He struck a pose, put his hand in front of him like he was trying to hide his face (maybe?) and he deepened his voice when he said “Now that we have arrived, know this: you are in the presence of none other than _Owain Dark_ , a _legend_ among... legends.”

Niles thought it was the stupidest thing he had ever seen in his whole goddamn life. His lips twitched, he smiled a little bit. He tried not to, he didn't want to encourage such stupid behavior. Leo cleared his throat after a few moments of silence.

“...What?”

Owain, that was his name, only faltered momentarily. Not even a whole second passed before he said again, with much more confidence, “Owain Dark!”

“Is this some kind of joke?” Niles asked. Owain turned his attention to him. He looked _right at him_. Niles swore his skin broke out in goosebumps. He rubbed his arm subconsciously, but kept a sturdy frown on his face. There was something.... strange about Owain's gaze on him. Niles was almost uncomfortable under it, but he couldn't identify why.

Maybe it had something to do with his 'legendary' status.

“What? Of course not!” Owain answered his question, but that didn't reassure Niles any. “Anyway, it's nice to meet you—um—you.”

Finally Niles tore his eyes off of Owain. He looked at his friend instead, finding that he was much less captivating in the moment. He didn't want Owain to be his roommate. He didn't like the frozen feeling he had moments earlier, and he didn't want to feel it again. Not only that, but Owain was _very cute_. Niles had absolutely no business sharing a room with a cute boy. It wasn't safe. For either of them.

The other man shrugged his shoulders. “Don't mind Owain too much. He's a bit eccentric, but he's all totally-insane bark and not even a little bite. My name is Inigo, by the way. I'm in the room across the way.” He gestured through the bathroom.

_Shit._

Leo stood up from the bed and instinctively Niles did as well. Leo stepped forward to greet Inigo. He reached out and shook his hand like a little professional. Niles thought it was funny. There was no need to be so formal, was there? He said “My name is Leo. I'll be in there with you.”

Owain _lit up_. He looked back at Niles but this time he had a _smile_ on his face and Niles' mouth felt dry. He said “Ah ha! So _you_ will be the one who lives among the darkness! Great! What's your name?”

He almost could have laughed. Was this guy even for real? Did humans exist who talked like that? It was like he was narrating his own life. Or maybe he was narrating everyone's. He shrugged his bag right off of his shoulder and set it down. Niles sighed.

This was it. This was his life for the next year. A freak for a dorm-mate. “Niles.” he answered, finally. He sat back down on the lower bunk of the bed, and watched quietly while Owain threw a few things onto the upper bunk. While he worked, Niles looked at his exposed arms. He wondered if maybe _Inigo_ was his soulmate. After all, he hadn't been at all bothered by the way Owain was talking. Inigo's arm had been covered up underneath his jacket, but...

Owain's arm had a black band wrapped around it.

People who wore black bands did so for one reason, after all... They did it because they were mourning the loss of a soulmate they would never meet. Timers were interesting things, and so testy. They were exciting to some. They counted down the seconds until a person met their other half, but... Now and then a person would die before they got the chance to find happiness.

Niles had never seen it happen in person, but he knew how it went. When a person's soulmate died, they often felt sick. They got anxious, they felt weak, sometimes even were physically ill. Sure enough they would look at their arm and it would reveal that the timer, once counting down to the best day of their life, had stopped mid-second... and would never move again.

The bands were expensive, but easy enough to come by. They were fitted for a person specifically. They were made out of a material not unlike plastic, or even a rubber band, and they were skin tight. They didn't slip or slide or come off, not unless they were very specifically broken off. (they certainly didn't break easily). Because of the elasticity they could grow with a person. They only had to be changed every few years.

It was meant to help people cope with it. After all, how else did you deal with the fact that you would never, ever find love? Those bands never came off. They were meant to be showered in, even. It was an extension of skin. They helped people _forget_.

 _Interesting_.

Owain's soulmate was dead.

 

…

 

Niles supposed he should have considered it courteous that Owain had waited a whole two days before this came up. He had first noticed him staring when they were trying to figure out how to program the television. Leo had decided right away they needed at least a small one. They found one cheap at a pawn shop. Owain and Niles' previously empty dorm was then equipped with an exquisitely ugly sofa, a table that probably wasn't strong enough to hold the weight of the old ass television Niles found, and a little coffee table between them that opened up as storage.

One would think that was handy, but really it just meant that the space between the ugly couch and the 'coffee table' was very cramped. It also meant the small room was now even smaller. Owain had been sort of surprised when Leo bought all of that crap, but... he didn't protest. He just sort of shrugged and picked up half of the couch.

Why did Leo have that effect on people?

Regardless, Niles knew that was when Owain started staring. He ignored it for a few minutes, just continued looking at wires in his hand. Were RGB wires even real anymore? Did the red one even matter? He hadn't messed with these things since junior high.

Finally he groaned, and tilted his eyes up to Owain's. Normally the staring may not have bothered him, but... Owain was _so cute_. Niles absolutely hated him. And he certainly hated cute boys staring at him in silence. “May I help you?”

“What?” Owain asked, and he looked away. He walked closer to Niles and took the cords from him, and easily plugged them in to the back of the television. Niles supposed he knew which ones were which, even when they weren't color coded. “No.”

“Mm?” Niles hummed, purred almost, if not just to fluster the cute boy who dared stare at him. He deserved it, after all, as punishment. They both knew what he was staring at. “The eyes are the windows to the soul, but staring is naughty. No need to stare anyway, I wear my heart on my sleeve.”

Not really. He supposed he wore a very specific heart on his sleeve: the heart he wanted people to think he had. He worked very hard to keep up impressions. He had to be strong. Flirty. Edgy. He had to be endlessly brave, but also smart. Being smart and brave and _repulsive_ even... those were the things that kept him safe.

Owain frowned, Niles noticed. His lips curled down, but he otherwise stayed quiet. It had been two days, that was all, but even Niles knew that silence was not a virtue that came often to Owain. He was all dramatic flailing and poetic words.

(Niles had learned shortly after his arrival that he was a theatre major. Theatre! Of all the horrible room mates he could have, he got one that would be reciting lines and reading plays all the time.)

He broke his silence after he pushed the television back into the position it was supposed to be in, tucked against the wall. Then he tucked his hands into the pockets of his shorts and looked... wary? Was he worried about little old Niles' feelings? It was touching. In a gross way. Not the sort of touching Niles liked.

“Can I see?”

“You've been staring all afternoon.” Niles muttered back. It had been fun to pick on Owain for staring, but letting him get up close was a little bit personal.

“Yeah, but not well. Were you born that way?”

The question made Niles roll his eyes, but he waved his hand for Owain to step closer anyway. He didn't particularly _want to_... but he also didn't want Owain to think he was nervous on the subject. He especially didn't want him to think he was a weaker person because of it. “I was in an accident as a child.” He answered the question. He thought—for half a second—that Owain was going to lift up his hand and touch. That made him turn his gaze down and stare at his hand. Owain quickly tucked it back into his pocket.

They were close then. Owain got the memo not to touch, but he was still leaned in close enough that Niles could hear him breathing. Of course he was also looking at his eye like he thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. _Don't blush, don't blush. He's an idiot. He smells nice. What the hell, Niles? Go back to thinking about how stupid he is or something._

“My cousin has a birthmark in her eye.” Owain said. That wasn't the first thing Niles expected. He leaned away from Niles then, took a step back and put enough room for Jesus between them. “Just like the one I have on my arm. But her eye color didn't change.”

Niles was well aware that his blind eye was paler than the eye he could actually see out of. It was lackluster in comparison. He pressed his lips into a tight frown. Owain made a face that looked sort of like confusion, and then he blushed and put up his hands. “Sorry! Not—not that your eye is weird or anything. I'm sorry. I—it makes you unique! Our differences give us power, and make us strong! I—yeah. Sorry.”

Niles chuckled. “You certainly are a grade-a dork, aren't you? What possessed you to talk that way?”

Owain looked relieved. Maybe because he wasn't in trouble. Niles wasn't mad at him. If he had a quarter for every time someone called his eye 'neat' or 'weird' he would have more money than Leo's family. “My dictation is one of my many gifts—bestowed upon me by my noble bloodline.”

“So your whole family talks like that?”

“Huh? Oh, no. But I think it's cool! I looked into it once and the reason people in my family have this weird birthmark is because we're related to some old king from a million years ago. I've got to live up to my royal lineage!”

“Kings don't talk like that.” Niles murmured. He looked down at Owain's arm. The opposite arm of the black band, almost in the same spot on his forearm, he had an oddly shaped birthmark. Did it make him a king? Not in this day and age. All it did was give him a higher risk of skin cancer. “You're a goddamn weirdo.”

“I think I prefer dork.”

Niles thought he could work with that.

“Oh! Hey, can I have your phone number?”

Niles had really thought their conversation had ended, but he humored him anyway. “Oh? Find yourself wanting to talk to me all the time, do you?” He asked. It was easy to say. Years of practice made his voice smooth and suggestive. It was easy to hide the fact that he was amused by the cute dork who wanted his phone number.

“What? No. Just—do you always make everything dirty? I just have a history of losing keys. It might be cool to know your number in case I'm ever locked out. Owain Dark is a man of many talents... but he's no locksmith.”

Niles extended his hand. When he did, Owain looked confused for only just a second, and then he placed his phone into it. It was easy to program in the number, and his name, and most importantly to send a text message to himself so that he could easily save Owain's number too.

He handed the phone back and ignored the “Thanks” he got from Owain. In fact, he walked right into the bathroom and closed the door. He leaned on the counter and _smiled_.

Oh, he hated himself. He had a goddamned crush on that boy, and it was _killing him_. He tugged his phone out of his back pocket and went to his messages so he could save the number. As per his personal preference, Owain would hence and forever more be known as Owain Dork.

He could not _wait_ for this crush to pass. They were gross and petty and childish. They made him feel _giddy_. It was disgusting. Niles was above that. Probably.

 


	2. The Ugly Ponytail Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo gets in a fight. Sort of.

Three weeks into the school year and Niles had made some observations about his living arrangement.

Inigo was the highest maintenance of them all. He was not a morning person even a tiny bit, but he shared his first class of the day with Owain at 8:30 in the morning. Niles assumed he did it so they would be in the same class, since they were so close. At any rate he quite enjoyed watching Inigo suffer through mornings.

He wouldn't even speak. He would get up, put on enough clothes to be decent and then sit on the sofa and watch muted tv and drink a cup of black coffee until Owain was ready to go. He would not respond if he was spoken to, outside of a slow nod or shake of his head. He also would not get ready to go until _after_ Owain was ready, and then he would rush through combing his hair and brushing his teeth. Niles was sure that they stopped and got more coffee on the way, considering he never saw Inigo without tea or coffee in his hands.

Outside of mornings, Inigo was pleasant enough. He was majoring in dance, so he was often out of the dorm taking classes. When he was in the dorm it was usually on his side, scrambling to finish whatever assignments he procrastinated on and staying up until 4 AM to do so. He spent any extra time flirting with girls around campus or, occasionally, lounging on the ugly sofa and playing games on a DS with Owain.

Leo was more or less the same to live with as he always had been. He liked things to be a certain way and people _did what he said_ because he was rich and acted stronger than he was. Niles would say that his bark was worse than his bite, but he had seen his bite first hand and knew that wasn't the case. His bark was fair warning.

His bark didn't conflict with Inigo that often. They seemed to get along alright.

Leo was easy to live with. Aside from the occasional lecture about putting things back where they belong, he was friendly and more than generous. After all, he had been the one to furnish both sides of that dorm and he hadn't asked for so much as an ounce of recognition. He was also generally introverted. He was happy to spend his time working on his school work and then reading away his days so he could live in some sort of fantastic world.

Owain didn't need a book to live in a fantasy world, he just fucking did it. Niles didn't even understand how. Maybe he was like those animals that could see more colors than humans, or something, but he was always able to get excited about _something_.

He wasn't a bad roommate. Niles had expected him to be a hassle. As it turned out, Owain was clearly housebroken. He picked up after himself, he had manners, he even did stupid things like offer to do laundry for Niles while he was going down the stairs to the laundry room anyway.

Owain always did his homework first thing when he got home from classes. Leo liked that about him, and they would often sit together and work on assignments. Their majors were vastly different. Leo was working towards a business major and Owain was in theatre. The only class they had that overlapped was a math class, and Niles still wasn't sure how they magically ended up sharing it.

The problem with Owain was that he made people like him. It was hard not to smile when he talked like an idiot. His smiles weren't showy or trained like Inigo's, either, they were raw and lopsided and always, always genuine.

In three weeks Niles had not yet gotten over his crush. If anything, it had gotten _much_ worse. Owain was too _nice_. Even Leo had a shallow side here and there. Inigo had his selfish moments. Owain was a nice, stupid, cute, dork. He was actually killing Niles. _Killing him!_

He made it very hard not to smile, in return.

That afternoon Niles was supposed to go with Leo to get lunch. Not because they were celebrating anything special. Just because they were hungry and Leo's class had let out early. His phone buzzed at him, though, so he pulled it out to check the message and damn near had a heart attack.

 

 

Leo wasn't the sort of person to joke around with something like that. Niles was sure that if he was asking for help he was in some sort of trouble. The problem was he wasn't answering. The only thing he could think to do was sprint through the campus in the direction of the building Leo was supposed to be coming from.

The campus was huge and mostly outdoors. There was a nice courtyard in the middle of it with trees and benches and plenty of space to just enjoy the weather, on a nice day. Or, in this particular case, to form a ring to watch a fight break out. Niles had a gut feeling that was where he would find his nerd. He meant to swoop in and rescue him, of course... but he was beat to the punch.

Three people stood across from Leo. One in the front, like he was the leader of the trio of people that Niles would have to beat up. He had on a jacket with fur lining the hood in obnoxious school colors that clashed with each other. Niles really couldn't hear most of the exchange, but he could see it. He was yelling at Leo, and Leo was...

_Why is he just taking it like a goddamned bitch?_

Niles had taught him better than that. Leo was a nerd, and people were _going_ to pick on him. That was just how life worked. All their lives Leo had never taken shit from anyone. After Niles stuck up for him as children he had learned to be stronger. It made Niles truly uncomfortable to see how this was unfolding... Leo _never_ just stood in silence. He fought _back_.

Luckily, he wasn't destined to fight alone.

“Woah, woah!” It was Owain. He ran over and stood in front of Leo, a streak of blonde hair and khaki shorts and dollar-store flip-flops. He took an overly dramatic stance when he called out to the three 'bullies'. “Three against one hardly seems like a challenge! Lucky for you my blood _aches_ for battle!” Not a moment after he finished that _bullshit_ he shifted into a defensive stance with his fists up.

Maybe, Niles thought, they would suffer so much second hand embarrassment from Owain's words that they would just give up and leave? It seemed like a reasonable theory. Niles was pushing through people when he noticed Inigo, too.

Inigo looked annoyed. He actually dropped his head back and groaned in frustration. He did not want to fight, and it was obvious, but then he shrugged his backpack off his shoulder and let it fall to the ground. Six inches from his backpack he set a starbucks cup down, and twisted it so it sank into the dirt and wouldn't spill. Finally he joined Owain in front of Leo, and pushed his sleeves back up his arms. “You can count me in for this one, I think.”

Was that how those two got through high school? Because between Owain's anime t-shirt and Inigo's pastel pink hair, Niles was not intimidated. But to be fair, they were both strong. Owain was strong physically but Niles had no idea why. Maybe he worked out or maybe he took a class with Inigo now and then, but he had definition to his arms. More importantly he was strong willed. Niles thought he could probably move a mountain if he wanted—especially if he used annoyance as a tactic. Inigo was deceptively strong. He spent all of his time doing ballet and yoga and dance and Niles thought he could crush someone's skull with his thighs if he tried. Inigo was the only man Niles had ever seen who could casually scroll through tumblr and sip a cappuccino while he did a wall sit for two hours.

Niles could see, when he finally broke through the onlookers, that they were still planning to start a fight anyway. The crowd was already gathered, and honestly if Niles didn't know better he would have assumed Owain and Inigo weren't that tough anyway. He could see them surveying the competition, making their choices.

Niles dropped an arm around Leo's shoulder, and Leo flinched. Niles was only a little offended by it. He wasn't known for being nice, but he had never put an unloving finger on his best friend. He was the only one exempt from Niles' usual behavior.

Now that he was part of the group, he could see their competition better. Two of them were guys, one was a girl. The girl genuinely looked the toughest out of the three. He also thought he recognized her, that he may have known her in the shelter once. He didn't recognize the other two.

Owain and Inigo both glanced over their shoulders at him. Inigo looked right back towards their 'opponents', but Owain paused to flash Niles a smile.

 _What a goddamn asshole_.

Niles could not _stand him_. He turned his attention away from Owain quickly to look at the boy who had started all of this trouble. “Oh, my, my.” He tutted gently. “Are these dirty brats picking on you, Leo? Clearly they don't know their place.”

Leo didn't say anything. It was unsettling. Niles said, “Alright, then. Let's give them hell.”

Then he waited.

He didn't think they would actually have a fight on their hands. These three were just bullies, and their plan had been to pick on one nerd; not a nerd, two dorks, and Niles. Sure enough he only had to count to three in his head before the other guy, the one in back, spoke up.

“Aw, you're not even worth our time!”

“Oh no? Then stop wasting ours.” Niles cooed in response.

The girl looked like she was going to lose it. She even took a step forward, it was the guy who called it off who grabbed her by the collar and lured her away. They left, scoffing and acting like they weren't taking a big hit to their pride. The circle of people who had already positioned themselves with their phones to record a fight slowly dissipated, and Niles thought they were disappointed. He was too, a little bit. He would have loved to cause some pain... but this was for the best. Starting fights at school was only fun when no one got suspended, after all.

Inigo sighed in relief. He hadn't wanted to fight from the gates, and he was clearly glad that they wouldn't have to. He tugged his sleeves back down and leaned over to sling his bag back onto his shoulder. “Well that's that, I suppose. I hope some girls saw that.” Not even a full minute after they had left, and Inigo already had his coffee cup back, cradled in his hands like a treasure.

Owain grinned at Inigo, and put a hand on his shoulder. “It was a great show of valor! Ladies will swarm to you!” He looked nothing if not victorious as he shifted from one foot to the other, like he was too excited to do anything but _bounce_. “You're a hero, after all.”

“They had better. I hate fights. And what was going on with their hair? Ugh. I believe we just faced off against the founders of the 'ugly ponytail squad'.”

Owain laughed, and for a second it literally distracted Niles. It was such a _nice laugh_. A belly laugh. Of course, that couldn't distract him forever. He actually felt Leo slump into him a little bit, and he shoved on him until he stood upright on his own again. It put a frown on his lips, and he was worried... but he was also disappointed. “I've taught you better, Leo. Why didn't you put up a fight? The people who act like prey are the ones who are hunted.”

Leo cleared his throat and crossed his arms tight over his chest. That wasn't too abnormal. Abnormal was the distinct blush on his face in this situation. He whispered, and Niles could hear the hiss of frustration in his voice. “That was my _soulmate_.”

Niles knew that Leo's arms were crossed but he still glanced towards his wrist. It made more sense, then. Leo didn't put up a fight because he was too shocked that his soulmate was part of the aforementioned ugly ponytail squad. Or, more likely, that his soulmate's first encounter with him was a fight.

Soulmates were made for each other, but it didn't always come easily. In movies when soulmates met they locked eyes, they blushed, and then they joined in a warm embrace. That... wasn't real. No one just ran up and hugged a stranger.

Leo's nose wrinkled up in a look of unadulterated disgust, and Niles felt a smirk tug at his lips when he saw it. “Ugh, how undignified. I think I'll pass. This whole thing has been humiliating. Come on, let's go get lunch.”

Niles laughed. How could he not? Leo's reaction to his soulmate was priceless, in spite of the fact that it had nearly come to blows. He would have to ask him later which one was _actually_ his soulmate. He thought it was goddamned hysterical that Leo and his soulmate had their first fight before they even hooked up.

He glanced back over his shoulder when Leo decided it was time to leave. There was a few feet of distance between them, now, but he could see Inigo bent forward laughing so hard he looked like he was going to collapse. Owain had his arms in the air and was striking a pose, and no doubt the cause of the bout of laughter.

Niles was thankful they were there. Without them around, he wasn't sure he would have made it to Leo's side in time to keep him safe. They were weird, but they were good friends, he supposed. Their quirks were tolerable.

He must have caught Owain's eye, because he lowered his arms and looked right past Inigo to flash Niles a bright smile. Like _lightning_ , Niles turned around to follow after Leo...and even then, even knowing that Owain couldn't see it, he lifted a hand to cover up the dopey smile that cracked across his own face. _Good fucking god why is that dork cute?_

 


	3. The Shifty Poet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Owain and Niles follow a shifty poet and then come out of the closet.

 

“Well shit.”

Niles was laying on his bed. Sprawled out and going through vines, he hadn't really been planning to go anywhere else that day. Now, it seemed, he was going to a poetry reading. He grimaced. He could not think of a single more boring thing on this earth. He thought he would rather stand in line at the DMV, because at least there it wouldn't be rude to put in headphones and ignore everyone.

How could he say no though? He was _obsessed_ with Owain. It was _disgusting_. He knew well and good that this crush of his was spinning out of control, by then. The skirmish with Leo's soulmate was weeks in the past and since then Niles still hadn't developed a tolerance for Owain's smiles. It didn't help that he did it so often.

Leo's soulmate had been the 'leader' of the group, he'd come to find. Leo was still avoiding him. Niles thought it was both amusing and stupid. Part of him wanted to remind Leo that he _had_ a soulmate. He should have been thankful, instead of avoiding the subject. There were people in the world who didn't have the luxury of having another half. They had to pull the pieces together and figure shit out on their own.

There were also people like Owain who had another half, but had lost them. Niles wondered if he had met them or not. He wondered if Owain had suffered much, at their loss. He wondered if he was the sort to break down all at once or to mourn slowly. Niles really quite enjoyed the suffering of others, but... he found himself wishing that Owain hadn't faced much suffering.

Leo would figure out his soulmate situation soon enough. Eventually, Niles suspected, they would share a class or be assigned to something together or just grow some _balls_ and try to have a civil conversation. Leo was too smart to avoid his soulmate forever. He wanted to be happy just like the rest of the world.

He drummed his fingertips on the back of his phone and considered the sweet torture that would be ahead of him. How long could a poetry reading possibly be? Poems were short, that was the whole point of them, right? People wrote those when they were too lazy to write something real, he thought. It wouldn't be _so bad_.

Niles knew he would enjoy it one way or another, because the giddy, stupid part of him would just be focused on watching Owain—not listening to poetry.

 

…

 

Niles pressed his fingertips into his temples and he pressed _hard_. There was someone on stage reading poetry. That was fine and dandy but this was probably the hundredth person and they had been at this stupid performance for _three hours_. It was dark out! Night time!

If Owain had said that this stupid reading would go on until eleven at night, Niles may have been less inclined to say yes. After all, apart from maybe Inigo no one needed their beauty rest quite like Niles. He was known to snap if he was in a bad mood.

He tilted his attention back to Owain. He had his cheek propped up in his hand and looked like his eyelids were drooping. In the very least, Niles wasn't the only one who couldn't be bothered to pay attention. Of course, Owain had put up a better fight. He was the one here for an assignment, after all. He had a pad of paper and a pen and had been making notes and writing up an outline and Niles could not imagine what sort of class tortured its students by forcing them to write an essay about poetry. Was that even possible?

It had been fun for a while. Niles had been optimistic going into the night. Making fun of poetry while Owain went on about how great it was had been a good time for at least the first forty minutes. It only got dull from there. The poems blended together and Owain ran out of nice things to say about them, and without his bickering to make it entertaining... well it stopped being fun to make jokes about the authors.

The next thing Niles did to get himself through the night was watching Owain. He had mastered rather quickly the ability to look away just when Owain started to notice him. It was not the most flattering talent that he had. It was downright shameful. Call him a glutton for shame, because he did it anyway.

Owain had long eyelashes and pale freckles and Niles had counted them at least three times before Owain finally did something other than shift positions or yawn. He lowered his hand and looked past Niles, and he narrowed his eyes. He was looking at something. Suspiciously.

Niles turned to look behind him. He didn't see anything, just the door that led out to the hallway. There was nothing for Owain to have been staring at. Even so, even with nothing there, at least that handful of seconds had been more interesting than the entire half hour of poetry prior to it. He raised an eyebrow at the blonde. “...What?”

“Huh? Oh—nothing—just... that actor looked sort of shifty.” Owain answered. He craned his neck like he was trying to see farther. Niles frowned at him. Owain gave up after that, he turned his attention back to Niles and shrugged. “I think he's up to something.” He admitted.

Niles still got incredibly uncomfortable when Owain stared right into his eyes. Was uncomfortable even the right word? It was more like... fluttery. It made him anxious, but in a stupid way. Not in a real way.

 _This is it._ Niles realized with an absolutely devilish smirk. _This is my out_. This was the exact way he could get himself away from all the stupid poetry. He knew it was probably a risk to encourage Owain to do _anything_ stupid, but he also thought the benefits outweighed the risk. He said “Shall we follow him?”

Owain was predictable and simple. When he wanted something it only took a little serving of encouragement before he chased after that goal. Niles had learned this already. He lived with him. It was hard not to understand the more obvious parts of Owain. It was the inner workings of his mind that Niles didn't think he would ever understand.

Niles suggested they go chase the shifty man, and Owain _brightened_. It was exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to go on a stealth mission and track down the dastard who dared walk down a hallway without Owain Dark's approval. But... Then he frowned and looked down at the notes in front of him.

 _Oh, poor thing._ Niles inwardly cooed. “You've heard enough poetry to last both our lifetimes, you know.” There was absolutely no way that Niles was going to let a stupid assignment stand between himself and sweet relief. If they stayed in this room any longer he thought he might start talking in rhyme.

Owain must have thought he was right, because he tucked the notes into his backpack, put it on, and stood up. Niles followed him when he made his way into the hallway. Sure enough at the very end—just about to turn the corner at the top of some wooden stairs—was the man Owain had noticed before.

He was probably harmless, just a man with a bald spot on the back of his head, but chasing after a shifty stranger would be more interesting than listening to another haiku. “What was so shifty about him?” Niles asked in a hush. The hush was not necessary. It was just to encourage Owain to act like a fool. To humor him.

Owain took the lead. He shrugged in response to the question he had been asked. Instead he climbed the first few steps. Niles followed behind him, and he was more than amused. This had been an excellent choice. Already Owain looked so _serious._ A stair creaked underneath Owain's weight. Owain froze because he was in “stealth mode”. Niles froze to humor him.

Owain was a damn cute idiot. Niles didn't know what kind of deal he had made with the devil to be both an absolute dork and also attractive. It wasn't very fair to the other dorks. He led them like he was a spy, waving Niles along and acting like he wasn't making a ton of noise with his clumsy steps. Flipflops were not made for sneaking. Neither was Owain.

He was... so funny. Niles had to swallow back laughter a few times, but the first time Owain waved his fingers between their eyes he actually cracked and snorted out a laugh. It was honestly no wonder that Inigo was constantly doubled over and bitching about his side hurting or wiping tears from his eyes. It was because Owain was the most hysterical dumbass in history.

The corridor had a turn in it. Luckily they were still safely tucked behind the corner, because the snort had caught the man's attention. (It would be Niles that got them caught, and not Owain. That was how karma worked, wasn't it?) They pressed their backs against the wall and Owain looked like he was about to leap out with a gun and shoot, like he was in a fucking _movie_ , and Niles thought for the first time that maybe his major was a good choice after all.

The man didn't come looking for them. Niles heard the door creak open, and then latch shut. Owain deflated. “Shh! You're gonna get us caught! My masterful espionage techniques can only carry you so far!”

If that wasn't the funniest shit Niles had heard in his entire life he didn't know what was. His smirk was more of a grin when he said “Well lead the way! I am but a humble student to your prowess.”

Niles was going to burn in hell and this absolutely was not at the top of the list of reasons why, but he was fairly certain that encouraging Owain's idiocy was a sin. Owain smiled and ducked around the corner.

The hallway was long and dimly lit. It did seem sort of like the setting for a knife fight in a movie. The room that the man had slipped into had a piece of paper with a name on it taped to the door. It was just a dressing room. Owain got closer and surveyed the door. Niles stood behind him and surveyed the _dork_.

Then the door knob jiggled.

Whether or not this man was harmless or dangerous, Niles' first instinct was to hide in that situation. He pushed open the door immediately across the hallway and ducked inside. It was a janitorial closet. There was a mop propped up against the wall and some shelves with cleaning products on them. It was a tight fit but Owain joined him in the cramped closet and they shut the door quick— _just quickly enough_.

Niles listened against the door for a few seconds. The man they had been followed had stopped, like he was curious... but sure enough his footsteps disappeared down the creaky hallway and he was gone. He slumped against the door and bit his lip to muffle a bout of laughter.

 _We are a couple of goddamned idiots_.

He could hear Owain laughing too. With far less restraint—his stupid cute laugh and Niles was doing his best not to dwell on it. Instead he was focused on the situation they were in. What had prompted this? He hadn't done anything suspicious at all! “What the hell were you expecting him to do? Kill a baby?”

Owain laughed harder. “I don't know! He was shady! I could still be right. You don't know. His nefarious plots could still be underway.”

“He's a poet. How 'nefarious' could he be?” Niles challenged. Then again, after all the angsty rhymes he had heard that night, Niles thought maybe a poet was high on the list of potential serial killers. The violent gamers had nothing on them.

“His poems were about loss and greed! He is a _dark_ poet. A fell poet, faced with coping with his own emotions, with reconciling his deepest, most evil desires with his actions!”

Niles didn't cover his laughter that time. Owain had lost it. He was clearly up past his bed time and high on rhymes. Niles could hear him shifting around, but it was too dark in the closet to see him. Shutting the door had shut out their only light source. The sound of the chain above them clinking was the only thing that gave away what he was doing. He was grappling for the pull on the light, so they wouldn't be bathed in darkness.

(Why? Darkness seemed to be right up Owain's alley.)

“ _Ah_ ,” When the light did come on it was way too bright and Niles flinched forward. Owain winced too, Niles could tell. He could tell because their faces were closer than they had any business ever being.

They clearly went about the thought process that followed that realization differently. Niles didn't move. He just examined Owain's face. The pores and the freckles and the light circles beneath his eyes that gave away how tired he really was. He listened to him breathe in and out, sort of faster than he should be. He watched surprise blossom on his features.

Owain reacted with something interesting. He stared too, for a few seconds. A handful of awkward seconds where he was just shifting his gaze from Niles' eyes to his mouth and nose and back. Then he practically _jumped_ back a step. He nearly knocked over a barrel vacuum. That wasn't the interesting part. Niles had expected that.

He hadn't expected Owain's face to be painted red with a blush. A dark, heavy blush at that. “Ah—ha. Whoops.”

Owain had every opportunity to say anything in the world and it would have been less awkward than 'whoops'. Niles watched him with an entirely straight face, but he was... flustered. _Why is he blushing? What does that mean? I've never seen him do that before, not really. I like it. Maybe I shouldn't read into it. He's tired. Or maybe it means something? Maybe he..._

“I think it's safe to go now.” Niles murmured. He couldn't bear the silence or his thoughts cluttering up his head anyway. Owain was very cute, and Niles had a childish crush, but that didn't make much of a difference. Owain had given him no reason to believe he had similar feelings.

Or had he?

He had invited him out on this stupid 'date' situation. He'd also been the one who got them shut up in a closet together, and _he_ was the one blushing like a schoolgirl. Or he had been. He'd sort of toned it down. Probably because Niles had spared him his pride and not mentioned it.

And why not? That had been a _golden_ opportunity to torment him. Niles had squandered it.

Owain nodded his head yes at the suggestion, still pink and clearly ready to get out of the musky little alcove of a room. Niles was not going to squander a second opportunity. “A little desperate to come out of the closet, aren't you? Don't worry; I don't judge.”

Actually he judged every single person every second of the day but he was also a known liar so he didn't feel bad for saying that. It came with the reward he wanted, anyway. He was very pleased with himself when Owain's cheeks turned dark again. Maybe there really was something there?

Owain shoved his arm. Not roughly, but to nudge him to open the door. “Okay—I'm suffocating on moldy mop fumes in here. Save your jokes for the walk.... home....”

He trailed off, but that was alright. Niles hadn't been listening to him anyway. The very moment that Owain put his hand on Niles' shoulder a jolt of static cut through him. Through both of them, it seemed. It gave him chills. The hair on his neck stood up, his heart rate jumped up a few notches... it was _weird_.

Owain pulled his hand back fast. Niles could see goosebumps on his arms, sprouting up as evidence that he had felt it too. He cleared his throat. “I—Sorry. Shocked you—it's... static-y. Uh—let's go home.”

The silence that followed that was a real kill joy. Owain was uncharacteristically quiet the whole walk home (it wasn't too far, thankfully) and he kept his hands tucked into his pockets and his eyes on the ground. Niles couldn't stop thinking about it.

Owain had done that to him twice, now. He could almost vividly remember the very first time their eyes met, and Niles hadn't been able to breathe. It was the same feeling, if not more intense, that still had him reeling now. He glanced to the side to see Owain again, digging into his pockets and tugging out a lanyard with a single key on it, and his student ID. He used it to open the door to their room and then he pushed himself right into the bathroom.

Soon enough the shower was running. Niles didn't care. He collapsed onto the lower bunk and stared at the supports above him that held Owain's mattress in place. Why did Owain _do this_ to him? Niles could not get the feeling out of his mind. Owain's hand had been gentle and warm but followed up by lightning and sparks. Niles _still_ had butterflies fluttering around his belly.

Honestly he hated Owain for making him feel this way.

 


	4. Too Tired To Think It Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the time has come for surprise!blow jobs.
> 
> Fair warning there will be smut in most chapters going forward
> 
> (but just lil smuts)

“I'm curious to know what exactly you're doing.”

Niles said it with mock patience. He actually had none. Inigo was in their room—his and Owain's room—and he was clearly snooping. At the moment he was sifting through the drawers of the desk that had become their dumping ground. No one did homework at that desk. It was just a place for them to pile their shit when they first walked in the door.

Inigo froze, and chanced a glance at Niles. Niles was not impressed. He watched the dancer stand back up and wipe his palms off on his pants nervously. Inigo had clammy hands. All the time. He was also like an ice cube all the time, and that hardly made an sense at all given the amount of warm drinks he took in on any given day and the fact that he wore a jacket almost constantly. Niles only knew how cold Inigo was because he used his distinct abnormality as a weapon.

Angering the beast that was morning!Inigo came with his icy fingers on your skin. Niles kept his distance after that. Inigo said “Ha, hello there. I'm sure it looks like I'm going through your stuff, doesn't it?”

“Yes. It looks exactly like that, actually. I'm glad we have an understanding.” Niles answered. He tossed his backpack onto the lower bunk of the bed and then crossed his arms and waited patiently. Inigo laughed a fake laugh and waved his hand like he was dismissing Niles.

“Well... you're wrong. I'm going through _Owain's_ stuff. I've left yours alone.” He resumed flipping through the drawer, too, digging around through junk that had accumulated over the first semester of the school year. Mostly trash, Niles thought.

He took a seat on his bed and leaned back onto his palms. He was sort of hoping that Inigo would just explain what he was doing in greater detail. Then he wouldn't have to act like he cared about Inigo or Owain or Owain's stuff. Inigo just focused on his task, however, and Niles groaned quietly. “Alright. I'll bite, if you insist. What are you looking for?”

“Oh! Owain's diary. Have you seen it? I can't find it.”

Niles lips twisted into a cross of disbelief and a smile. “Owain has a _diary_? How do you know?”

“Because I read it regularly.” Inigo answered. Nonchalantly. It was commonplace and ordinary. He huffed and stood up from the crouch he was in while he was digging through the bottom drawer. Then he turned around and faced Niles. He held his hands to size up the diary in question. “It's a composition notebook, and in big block letters on the front it says 'Manual of Justice'. He usually hides it under his mattress or in his pillowcase but he must have upped his game. I haven't seen it in weeks.”

Niles could not believe this was happening. Owain had a diary—not the most shocking thing he had ever heard—but Inigo was so familiar with it that he could describe it, and read it like he was reading fanfiction updates? Niles chuckled. “I love to give bad news usually, but I am _sorry_ to say I have not seen his diary.”

Inigo groaned at him. He pushed a hand through his hair and then walked to the other side of the room to start looking behind the video games and DVDs that had been living next to the television. “It has been _weeks_. Do you know how long that is in Owain-Years? He could be married with children by now.”

“Pardon?”

“Owain gets carried away. He always makes his life out to be some kind of fantasy. It's a _good_ laugh. I'm also very interested in how that wound healed up.” Inigo talked over his shoulder, while he sorted through the boxes. “It's 80% a self-insert character living a ridiculous life. Sometimes his friends show up too. I'm a handsome swordsman.” He chuckled. “I've had no luck with the ladies in that life either, it seems. Anyway, another 15% is drawings and absurd titles. Owain really likes to make lists and organize things, and so he's always alphabetizing names for just about anything. Future books, plays, movies, even _objects_.”

Niles thought this was probably the stupidest thing he had ever heard.

Inigo sighed and stood up again, only to fall back onto the ugly couch. “There is five percent actual diary in there. It's mixed in with the rest of it, and sometimes it's not very clear. I don't know if he does it because he doesn't want anyone to know it's _actually_ a diary, or if he does it so that if someone found it they wouldn't even know what it was. In any case, Owain is different lately. I need the diary.”

“Maybe he stopped writing in it?” Niles suggested it, and Inigo actually laughed.

“Pardon? The tales of Owain Dark and his 'sword hand' are far from over! Besides, he just started this whole new 'adventure'. It was a change in the setting, really. I don't have time to tell you the whole plot.”

“I'm not at all interested in it.”

“Good! It would take a whole month to tell you everything anyway. But the scene change—that was part of his last diary entry. I know because he introduced new characters. You and Leo, too! You're an archer, by the way. Owain's history with archers is very... sensitive. I think you'll be revealed as a villain later.”

Oh? Niles was in it? Maybe he was more interested than he thought. He laid back on the bed and pulled out his phone, doing his very best to look disinterested. He scoffed. “If Owain didn't like me it would be obvious. He's very open with his... opinions.” Niles? A villain? Perhaps. He wasn't known as the nicest man around. He hardly thought Owain should consider him so horrible. After all, Niles was always too wrapped up in swooning over him to make him miserable.

And damn him, really, for that.

“That's just why I need to find it.” Inigo muttered. “Owain has always been very open with his feelings but lately he's... distant, in some ways. It's hard to explain it. I think he's developed a crush on someone. I _need to know_ who. I have to be the very first one to tease him about it.”

Niles wasn't even looking at his phone. He was holding it above him like he was reading something but it wasn't even lit up. He was absolutely focused on Inigo. “Hmm. What has you so interested in his love life? You babysit him every day. If he had a girlfriend you could take a vacation.”

Inigo chuckled. “I have _earned_ a vacation. But that's just the thing. I don't want him to get hurt. His soulmate situation is... complicated.”

Dead. That was what Inigo meant by complicated. Owain didn't have a soulmate anymore. He supposed he could see why Inigo wanted to keep tabs on him, then. If Owain developed feelings for someone else, and that someone _did_ have a soulmate... well it would just be a train wreck. Fewer things were more certain in life than birth, death, and soulmates. People who dated outside of their soulmates... it _never_ lasted.

Niles' parents hadn't been soulmates. He was the result of a fling that didn't last, and they cast him aside just as easily as they left each other behind. A lot of theories suggested that people with broken timers or lonelies were the children of mismatched soulmates.

There wasn't any real proof to that, though. It was a coincidence.

“Whatever.” Niles muttered. “I'll let you know if I see the book. If he's hiding it from you he probably has it in his backpack, you know.”

“I'm very aware.”

When Inigo left, Niles lowered his phone. He looked at the closed bathroom door that linked their suite.

 _I have got to find that diary_.

 

…

 

The diary was under the cushion on the ugly couch. Niles thought he would have looked there first, because everyone hated it and it was so firm and uncomfortable that it wouldn't be felt easily anyway. Inigo must have been too focused on less obvious hiding places.

Niles had spent the whole day reading it and he still had no idea what it said. Honestly it was like he was reading a fantasy novel. He had no interest in it. He just sort of skimmed pages until he saw the word _arrow_ , and then he paid attention because Inigo had specifically called him a archer.

This was not a diary. This was a goddamned piece of prose. Who wrote stories about themselves or their friends? It was weird. He read the last entries at least three times before he thought he could finally see some semblance of reality behind them.

Owain definitely had a crush, but Niles could not discern if it was on a human being or on a sword. He really had to brush up on his translating skills. He thought Inigo could probably translate it to English in a matter of minutes... but he also didn't want Inigo to know he'd gone looking for the diary.

Owain had a crush but Niles had some unwarranted hope that it was on him.

 

...

 

“Do you think when the sun burns out that we'll all just die instantly, or that it will fizzle out slowly and we'll have years to evolve to the darkness?”

Owain was on the top bunk. Niles had hidden the book back where it belonged long ago. It was already after two and Owain was usually asleep by then... but he was awake for some reason now. Niles was _also_ usually asleep by then... but he was awake because he was fantasizing about Owain having a crush on him.

He hated himself, really.

“You sound tired.” Niles answered, instead of thinking about the question. He _did_ sound tired. His voice was slower than usual, softer than usual. He yawned every now and then.

“Owain Dark has no bed time.”

Owain had a crush and it had to be on Niles. He had been thinking about this all day, after all. It had to be on Niles because he had started blushing in front of him more often, and he was always going out of his way to smile at him or be nice to him. It _had to be_ him.

Niles had a crush on Owain.

Owain had a crush on Niles.

The wee hours of the morning were like the witching hours for poor life choices, anyway, weren't they?

They were college students. (Adults? Perhaps.) Not infants. Niles got up. It was dark. Not too dark to see at all, but too dark to see more than darkened shapes. He stepped onto his mattress and then hoisted himself up. He caught his knee on the rail but after that easily slipped onto the bunk with Owain. He found himself positioned between his knees. Owain propped himself up on his elbows, looked at him like he was totally confused.

Fair. Niles was acting entirely on frustration and tension and instinct.

“Wha... what are you doing?”

Niles leaned closer to Owain's face. Owain sucked in a breath and leaned backwards half an inch. Niles grinned at him. “You kept me up half the night with your stupid babbling. Now I'm going to wear you out so you can just go to goddamn _sleep_ already.”

“Ha—um—what?”

“Listen up and listen close, dork: If you say stop I'll stop but if you _don't_ want me to stop don't fucking say it. That's how this consent thing is going to work.”

“C-Consent.” Owain repeated the word, tasted it on his tongue, and then looked at Niles again. “I...What are you..?”

“Only say stop if you really mean it.” Niles repeated again. He backed his face away from Owain's and looped his thumbs under the elastic of Owain's sweats. He hesitated four seconds. Owain didn't say stop.

 _Good_.

He tugged those, and the underwear beneath, down in one quick motion. Owain didn't struggle by any definition of the word. In fact Niles was pretty sure he lifted himself just slightly to make the process easier. For a few seconds Niles just looked him over. His legs had scars here or there but nothing out of the ordinary. He slid his palms up his thighs. Owain's leg twitched. Niles looked back at him with a raised brow. “You didn't say stop.”

“You told me not to!”

“Don't lie. I said only to say it if you meant it.”

“I—Okay--I don't—I mean... I'm not... I didn't say...that.” He refused to make eye contact with Niles, just looked very specifically at the wall and quietly added “I'm not saying it.”

Niles like that. Maybe because it made everything more consensual. For the most part. Owain didn't particularly know what he was consenting too. It was sort of surprising. He was putting a lot of trust in Niles. That was dangerous. He slid his hands along his thighs again, and then he pushed them apart roughly. Owain made a noise (Niles thought it was embarrassment) and dropped himself flat on the bed, so he was staring at the ceiling.

More amusing than his embarrassment was that Niles had yet to even touch him and he was already half hard. Niles wrapped his hand around it, felt the heat and tugged rhythmically. Owain's breath left him at that first touch. Niles stroked until he was entirely hard (throbbing even, and the stray twitch made Niles smirk), but he didn't have it in him to give him what he likely expected right away.

Torment was what made pleasure fun.

He shifted to lay on his stomach between Owain's legs, and Owain _must_ have known what he planned by then. Niles used his hands to push his thighs apart again, and drew his mouth closer... and then he bit down hard on the inside of Owain's thigh.

He hissed—arched his back off the bed and squirmed. _“Niles_!” Was that a whine? Niles wanted to make him do that again. His cheeks hollowed and he sucked hard on Owain's thigh. There wasn't much there by way of extra fat. It probably did hurt. Owain moaned through closed lips. Niles was distinctly certain that moan fell much closer to satisfaction than discomfort. Would it be a perfect world if his crush had just a little bit of a pain kink? It would certainly appeal to the sadistic part of Niles.

A few seconds later he relented, released the angry skin, but not until a large red welt took up residency on Owain's thigh. Just a friendly reminder for the morning that this really happened. A _very_ friendly reminder.

Friendly reminder in place, Niles moved on to better things. After all, who knew if Owain was going to change his mind and call off this fiasco. He stroked the blonde's length once or twice more, but after that he leaned forward. The first thing Niles did was press his tongue against the slit, and then swipe it along the underside of his tip. The first thing Owain did was suck in a breath and clench his fingers into the sheets.

This was not the first time in his life Niles had a dick in his mouth, but this was the first time he'd done it entirely selfishly. He closed his mouth around the tip and gave a gentle—almost _playful_ , considering he knew he was toying with Owain—suck. Owain gritted back a moan through his teeth. Niles noticed.

The deeper into his mouth Niles took Owain, the more clear it became that Owain was refusing to moan. Not because he wasn't enjoying himself—Niles had gathered by the way he bucked his hips now and then that he was on cloud nine—but because he didn't want to be loud. Or was he shy about it? Either way every single moan he made was muted. Mostly by Owain biting his lip. Niles wanted to bite Owain's lip, too.

Even muted moans were genuine. Owain kept arching his back and trying to cram himself deeper into Niles' throat—and Niles was a generous lover (and he hoped Owain would learn that detail about him), but he still had to press his hands onto Owain's hips and hold them in place. He slid his mouth away, making very certain to pull himself off with a lewd pop, and he hummed his 'discontent' in Owain's direction.

“You'll choke me, you know.” Not likely. Niles had more than a few tricks up his sleeve in this department. He just wanted to hear Owain's voice, and he was rewarded with his clear humiliation.

He sounded so embarrassed. It came across loud and clear in the breathy, pathetic laugh. “Hah, I... s-sorry..?”

 _Oh, the poor flustered thing_. Niles rubbed his thumbs in gentle circles around Owain's hip bones, in spite of the fact that his grip was like a vice. When Niles resumed his efforts he focused them entirely on Owain's tip—letting the saliva that coated the rest of his length go cold. Clearly this struck a chord with Owain in the worst way. It was very obvious that he liked the attention, liked the way Niles just barely dragged his teeth against him. It was also very obvious that he wanted more—because his hips struggled to rise again. He wanted Niles to take him deeper into his mouth.

Niles thought it was very cute that Owain didn't like to be teased.

Cute in the sense that he was going to tease him anyway.

Honestly Owain shouldn't have felt at all isolated in his suffering. Niles was the one who had to listen to him moan, and listen to his breath catch. Niles was the one who saw him like this. Did he know how it affected him? Every little noise he made flooded Niles with arousal. It got to be so distracting that he found himself desperate for the minimal friction the bed provided beneath him.

Somewhere along the line he found a rhythm that drew out the best in Owain. It made him just a little louder, even if he was trying not to be. It made his breathing uneven, it made it harder for Niles to hold his hips in place, but best of all it was pushing him over the edge and it was _obvious_. It was obvious because his knees bent just a little, his knuckles were practically white in their grip on his blanket, and because of how tense he was.

Niles wanted to break him. He wanted to know what it sounded like when Owain moaned without restraint. He wanted to know if he would be this shy all the time, or only under the unexpected circumstances of this instance. He wanted to get to know every bit of this body.

Owain moved his hand like he might touch Niles' hair. The idea of Owain's fingers knotted into his hair while he fucked into his mouth was _tantalizing_... but Niles couldn't help the instinct to reach out and catch his wrist, and to protect himself. Old habits died hard, he supposed.

He let up on Owain's hips after that, shifted his free hand down to stroke him hard, to meet his mouth halfway with each bob. Owain struggled against the grip Niles had on his wrist. Niles eased up, expecting Owain to withdraw his hand and curl his fingers back into the sheets. Instead Owain twisted his hand in his grip, until he could lace their fingers together.

It was embarrassing how much heat pooled in his groin, how something so innocent as _holding his hand_ had an effect on him. Niles couldn't recall anyone doing that before. (Maybe people who were born as lonelies didn't care for affection quite so much?)

Niles liked the way Owain tightened his grip on his hand when he came. Maybe even more than he liked the way his knees came together around Niles' shoulders, or how he released a breath that he had clearly been holding during his entire buildup—because he had to suck in air right after in a gulp. He liked the way his body went slack after that—save for the evident twitches in his hips when Niles sucked him clean.

But then Owain did something he didn't like. He flexed his fingers where they were joined with Niles', and he pulled his hand away. He used both his hands to push his fingers through his hair, and then he let his arms relax above his head and stared at the ceiling.

He was very quiet. Niles' didn't know what to say either. What did you say to your roommate after you sucked him off? Niles didn't think there was anything _to_ say. He made a hasty retreat to the lower bunk.

He could hear Owain's breath, uneven and loud. He thought he could hear his heartbeat still trying to regulate. Owain didn't say anything to him. Niles didn't say anything either.

Come morning the sound of his phone buzzing against the mattress was what woke him. Normally he woke up to Inigo's morning ritual. He supposed he had been too tired to notice that morning, because the clock read that it was after 8:30. Inigo was spewing bullshit at him, but he hadn't really listened to him at the time. It wasn't really until later in the morning that he took the time to read all that he had to say... and even then he had no idea what to say.

 


	5. “There is nothing wrong with a healthy appreciation of the male form.”

They never talked about it.

It was midnight and Niles was staring at the bed supports above him, laying on top of his blankets, and he was just baffled. Owain had never talked to him about it. He had expected him to bring it up right away. He wasn't one for keeping his thoughts to himself.

Or at least, Niles hadn't _thought_ he was. He wasn't an expert on Owain yet, he supposed.

The day had been relatively silent. Owain came home from his classes and did his school work and went about his business. He didn't _ignore_ Niles, not really. He still smiled at him—but it wasn't the normal smile. It wasn't his normal 'I'm-happy-to-see-you' smile. It was something else, something more reserved. Something thoughtful. 

Maybe Niles had broke him?

He had always read stupid stories where the main characters were interested in each other but never confessed because it would destroy their friendship. In the stories they always managed to make it work one way or the other. It always worked out for the best in the end. Niles hadn't considered breaking their friendship to be an option. Then again, he hadn't really considered it being affected at all. He'd just assumed they were fine.

What if they weren't fine? Maybe friends with benefits just wasn't something that sat well with the blonde? Owain wasn't talking to him. He was being quiet, he—

“Are you still awake?”

Niles sucked in a breath when he heard it. Words that were directed at him—had to be because they were the only ones in their room. He was nervous, now. Maybe talking about it was bad. He was tempted not to respond at all, and to just let Owain go to sleep on it. But he didn't. “I am now, dork.”

He heard the shifting on the mattress above him. Owain was getting up. He saw first his foot brace on the bunk. Then he saw his foot slip. Owain fell off the top bunk with a thump. Niles reached out, he really had tried to catch him, but all he ended up with was a fist full of air. “Jeez! You're such a goddamn idiot—are you alright?”

Owain sat upright on the floor. He rubbed the back of his head, but then shrugged his shoulders. “I'm fine! Nothing _Owain Dark_ can't handle!” Niles rolled his eyes, but some part of him was thankful that he hadn't cracked his head open. After a day of Inigo shooting him uncharacteristically vile glares, it would be his luck for Owain to _actually break_.

He watched Owain push himself up, and he sat on the side of the bed near Niles. Niles didn't stop him, but he was anxious. This conversation that was about to happen, and there was a good chance it would go sour. He didn't talk right away, though. Owain was staring at him, Niles realized, but not at his face or his eyes or anything _normal_. It took him a few seconds to understand just where his gaze had settled. He realized, then, that Owain was looking at his arm. He was looking at the trail of zeroes. Niles pulled his arm closer to himself.

“Since I've known you,” Owain finally began, “You've always had zeroes on your arm. If you've already met your soulmate, why did you..?”

“I don't have a soulmate.” Maybe it was a little bitter. Owain thought he had one already? If he did, why would he have been here all the time, and not somewhere else? It was annoying. He tried to swallow back the bitter taste it left in his mouth, he really did, but Niles wasn't the biggest fan of the subject. Or really any subject that centered around him.

“Wait, what?”

He was hesitant. He didn't want to talk about it—but he also didn't want to break this friendship, or whatever it was, any more than it may already have been, so... he just had to come out with it. “I was born with zeroes. My timer never worked. I'm just another _lonely_.”

Some amount of concern crossed through those honey colored eyes, and Niles wondered if Owain was comfortable being serious. He was always so... well _him_. This was a far cry from his happy, dramatic acting. He didn't say anything in response, he just nodded his head slowly.

Niles cleared his throat. He had been asked a question, after all. It was only fair to answer it fully, since they were indulging in sappy feelings time. He shrugged his shoulders like he didn't really... care. Like it didn't bother him that he wasn't 'normal'. He had been masking those feelings his whole life, and it came easily to him still. “So I suppose since I'm broken, and you don't have a soulmate either, I just...”

Just thought it was alright to give him a blow job. It was probably not okay. He knew that now, but the night before it seemed like a great idea. Owain's expression changed a few times very quickly. It shifted first and foremost into confusion. He looked down at the black band on his own arm. Then his eyes softened, and he chewed on his lip.

Niles didn't know what that meant. Had he offended him by saying Owain didn't have a soulmate? He supposed that was a lie. Owain _had_ a soulmate. He had just lost them. Lost the person who was meant to complete him. Niles had never had someone at all. He supposed that losing a soulmate hurt worse than never having one.

Owain turned to look at him, and he had a smile on his face. Not his normal smile, this was tiny and shy, but he made eye contact when he asked “So... can I return the favor?”

There were so many directions this conversation could have gone but Niles was not prepared for it to come back to sexual favors. _He wants to suck me off. He wants to—I didn't fuck this up holy shit he's so cute and he wants to suck my dick oh my god stop it be cool, be cool, don't blush oh god please don't let me blush._

Somehow, in spite of the chaos jumping around inside of him, he managed a mostly straight face and relatively smooth voice when he said “Oh? I didn't know that cock sucking was part of your character.”

Owain laughed. It was too loud, especially for the hour. Leo would be sleeping and Inigo would probably be awake doing homework—and he was the last person Niles wanted to come into their room in that moment. But Owain covered his mouth with his fist and calmed himself enough to answer him, and defend his character. “As a man of darkness I am not afraid! But... you know, as a guy who's never done it before... I can't promise to be good at it. Yet.”

 _Yet_. Yet, because he planned to get better. Niles had a very specific image of coolness and indifference and Owain was going to break it if he kept saying stupid shit like that. As it was the moment Owain had even implied he wanted to suck his dick Niles was _embarrassingly_ hard.

He hated this boy so much he was _perfect_. “Well, you know what they say about a journey of a thousand miles.” He said. He shifted to make more room for Owain on the bed, and he was _delighted_ when the blonde reached out to pull at his underwear without any further prompting. (Niles had always threatened to sleep naked. Leo's lectures and Inigo's raw fear all but forced him to wear boxers to bed. He didn't mind because the threat of going naked was still his to use against them.)

Owain tugged his boxers down around Niles knees, and that was when he must have processed the comment, because he paused to ask “It begins with one step?”

“It begins with one dick.” Niles corrected. Owain blushed (Niles thought it was his favorite thing to make Owain do, now that he had the power).

Owain didn't know what he was doing, and that had already been made clear. Niles didn't think it would have mattered. Maybe the previous night was a surprise to Owain, but Niles had been _obsessed_ with him for months. He was clearly shy and unsure of himself when he reached out and stroked to make sure Niles was good and hard. (There was no question. Niles was generally better with his self control, but this was a special case.)

Owain had never done this before, and it made Niles wonder just how different they were. Had Owain ever done _anything_ before? Was he a blank slate, sexually? That was an exciting prospect. Not because Niles cared if he had a sexual history—experience made people better—but because it meant he could _teach him_. He could shape him to know exactly how to get _Niles_ off just right... He was like a sexual apprentice.

Niles was shocked out of his thoughts by moist heat wrapping around his tip and honestly, was this happening? He swore the same shock waves of sparks that coursed through him when Owain touched him the first time came back full force now—but mingled with sex like this it was far more _exciting_ than awkward.

There wasn't an instruction booklet for sucking cock. Niles thought experience was the best teacher. Niles himself was probably the second best teacher. He had expected this to be rough, a mess that he would have to correct at every step. His gut twisted with pleasure the moment it started, though. Unfair pleasure that didn't even make sense to him because Owain had hardly even _done anything_. He was way too worked up for this boy.

Owain had wanted to put his hands in Niles' hair the night before, and Niles hadn't let him because he had learned to fear people. He hoped Owain never learned to fear people—because when Niles reached down and slid his hands through the blonde hair all he did was hum around his cock like he appreciated the contact. Niles appreciated the hum.

Owain picked it up quick. He dove in right away to take as much of Niles in his mouth as he could, and it made Niles squirm and moan and start to unravel, because what made Owain so fucking special? Like Owain's mouth was really any different than anyone else? Niles knew that wasn't true, but he could have sworn there was some kind of magic at work when Owain swiped his tongue along the underside of his shaft.

 _Dark magic_. Niles thoughts chimed at him, because this wasn't just anyone—it was a dork who would have certainly said those words if he had heard the thoughts swirling around Niles' head. Niles was thanking whichever gods were responsible for them that Owain _couldn't_ hear his thoughts. Ever. He hoped he never could.

As it was Owain could obviously hear him moan, and that was compromising enough. Niles didn't usually restrain himself—and he certainly wasn't trying to mute his moans entirely—but he didn't want to be interrupted. The last thing he needed on this, the dick sucking christening of Owain Dark, was for Inigo to walk in and scare him out of ever doing it again.Maybe it was lucky, then, that Niles had to internally chant not to cum so quickly. A little stroke of time management. Maybe it was lucky that Owain had a severe case of beginner's luck with this.

Niles had a strong grip on Owain's hair, and when he felt resistance he was tempted not to let go, to force him to finish what he started, but he couldn't. He had stupid _feelings._  He let go of his hair, of his head entirely.Owain pulled his mouth back and for some truly  _stupid reason_ he paused his actions to lay kisses on Niles' thighs, and worst of all his tip, and _why was that cute?_ Owain was the _worst person ever_. Niles watched him through half-lidded eyes and felt a chuckle crawl up his throat.

“Aw, is your jaw sore? How cute. You were doing so well, for a beginner.” It was true, if how red and swollen Niles' cock was gave any indication.

Owain flushed and one of the butterfly kisses turned into a quick, angry bite. Maybe he had expected it to hurt, or to be some sort of revenge. It just made Niles moan. “Shut up!”

“Don't worry, there's no shame in defea— _ooh_.” The comment was meant to tease Owain, but clearly he took it as initiative to get his second wind because he dove back onto his cock like he had a score to settle. Niles would have let him stop—it wasn't like he hadn't _more_ than made up for the night before, just by existing. He was so close to falling over the edge, though. He couldn't tell him to stop. Owain's determination was Niles' new favorite trait about him. Owain's fingernails dug into dark thighs while he worked. Niles dropped his head back against his pillow and groaned. Owain was his favorite, sweet torture.

Orgasm hit him too quickly. Too quickly for his liking—he was better than that. Too quickly to consider warning poor, precious Owain. It was sudden but _damn_ did it make his eyes roll. His hips were hard to still. He tried to thrust himself into Owain's mouth—but Owain clearly wasn't mentally prepared for this. He tried to pull away—and the result was by far the funniest mess that Niles had ever made.

He thought he might cry with how hard he laughed. Quiet laughs, so as not to wake those across the hall, but so strong and genuine and real. Owain fell back, sat on his knees between Niles legs and tried to blink away the shock. It was _all over him_. His retreat hadn't been hasty enough, he had cum literally sliding down his cheek and neck and he looked so startled by it.

Didn't he know what the endgame of sucking dick was?

He only looked startled and offended for a second. Then he locked eyes with Niles and his face broke into a grin. He snorted quietly, and he laughed it off too, and reached up to swipe a little off of his lip. Niles sat up, shifted onto his knees, and with a quick jerk he tugged his tank top over his head. Owain looked like he was going to reach for it, but Niles just reached out and started to clean up the mess for him. 

Owain said, “You could warn a guy.”

“You didn't 'warn' me, yesterday.” Niles snickered, ultimately trying to calm down his own laughter. He shifted closer so he could see better in the darkness, so he could wipe the remains of cum off of Owain's face. It had turned pink at the comment—or perhaps the situation. Niles dropped his shirt on the floor and it was like the reality of this situation hit him all at once.

There he was, with a hand on Owain's shoulder for balance, kneeling in front of him entirely naked, a little cum still dripping off his own dick, and they were _so close_. Janitors-closet-level close. This time it wasn't awkward though. Not right away. It was accompanied by that warm, comfortable feeling that came after sex. Being so intimately close felt _natural_. Niles was _happy_. He was blissfully, stupidly, happy. He wasn't very familiar with that, either. It wasn't something he was very often. Just for this dork. Just for this idiot who was kneeling across from him, who had a hand resting squarely on Niles' hip.

But then the awkward set in. Owain's fingers twitched and he pulled away from Niles. “Okay so... I should go back—um--up there now.”

Did he have to? Niles didn't know what he had expected to happen after this, or what to say, but Owain backed away before he could figure it out. The air where he had been grew cold too fast. Owain climbed back up onto his own bed. Niles wasn't even sure what had just happened.

He barely registered the thought to put his boxers back on before he laid on his side and groped for his phone and earbuds. He needed a distraction, now, because sleep was off the table. He turned on his music, he pulled up tumblr, and just as he was about to insert the earbuds he heard a muted, tiny noise.

His lips curled into a smile. He put in his headphones and minded his own business... but it made him very, very happy to know that his stupid dork was jerking off.

 

…

 

The day that followed that was as normal as any other day. Owain seemed fine and normal. Niles was glad. He hadn't wanted to be the one to break Owain. At least not break him _that way_. That didn't change the fact that Niles still wasn't sure how this would affect their relationship. He just tried to ignore that detail. By the time evening rolled around Owain was trapped in one of his classes and Leo had gone off to the library.

Niles was in Leo's room. Specifically he was standing in front of Inigo, who was sitting on the lower bunk of their bed. Inigo was... important. Not entirely important to _Niles_ , but he was important to Owain. And... by some kind of transitive property, Niles supposed that meant they should play nice.

“Here.” He extended his hand, held out the composition notebook. Inigo seemed confused, initially, but he reached out and took it. “I didn't pick on your boyfriend. He must have just been sick or something yesterday.”

“Don't call him my boyfriend, people might believe you.” Inigo muttered back. He sighed and looked over the notebook, like he was weighing the option of reading it right then. He looked like he was distracted by something. “But... I suppose I appreciate that you didn't make fun of him.”

“Good. Call that a truce.” Niles muttered. He stepped away from Inigo and to the desk. The desk in their room was neat and organized, and Niles knew it was because of how anal Leo was about it. His laptop was sitting on top, just waiting to be fucked around with, and so Niles opened it up.

He was halfway through changing all of Leo's settings when he noticed how shifty Inigo had become. He cast a glance in his direction. “What's your problem?”

Inigo looked embarrassed, but then he shrugged and pulled up the sleeve of his jacket. Inigo's timer was on his wrist. Niles could see that it was about to expire. It read 00:00:00:29. Thirty seconds. Thirty seconds until Inigo met his soulmate. He had never seen Inigo look less comfortable in his whole life. He said “What am I supposed to do?”

“What?”

“Should I go somewhere? What are the rules for this sort of thing? Am I supposed to wait patiently?” Inigo asked good questions. Niles didn't know the answer to them. He shook his head from side to side.

“Don't ask me, I wouldn't know.”

Inigo's lips curled into a tight frown—something that looked very foreign on his face because he had trained himself so well to smile through hell. He smiled in performances and when he practiced and when his muscles and legs and feet were so sore he might collapse. He smiled when he was in pain and when he wanted to cry, and these were things that made him strong in some ways... but weak in others.

“I don't know what to do.” Inigo said it in unison with a knock on the dorm's door. Niles looked up and he was quite honestly surprised. Right on time, he supposed.

“My, my, seems they deliver soulmates to your door, now.” He quietly teased. Inigo looked horrified. He didn't say anything at all, he didn't move. Niles rolled his eyes. He lifted his voice to call “Come in.”

He could not have been happier with the scenario that played out in front of him. Through the door walked someone that Niles was more than a little acquainted with. Taller than any man really needed to be, familiar blonde hair that just curled at the ends, he was still wearing his suit. He had come here from work. This was a man that Niles was very, _very_ familiar with. This was Leo's older brother.

He was about six years older than them. He worked back in Nohr (where Leo and Niles were from, of course) as the up and coming COO of his father's company. He was in line to inherit that business, too. He was a very strict workoholic, and Niles thought that made Inigo a hysterical soulmate for him to have... because he was most certainly the biggest procrastinator that Niles had ever known.

Niles looked back at Inigo just in time to see him scramble to pull his sleeve back down over his timer. Xander met Inigo's eyes. Niles was grinning from ear to ear. _Oh, they deserve each other._ He thought. He sort of meant it. Maybe Inigo was just the man to break Xander of work oriented tunnel vision. Or, alternatively, maybe Xander could teach Inigo some form of responsibility or dignity.

“Oh—hello. My name is Xander, I—Oh! Niles. Where is Leo?”

That was it? That was the greeting that Xander was going to give his soulmate? Niles was almost offended _for_ Inigo when it struck him that the stupid man was wearing long sleeves and probably hadn't bothered looking at his timer recently. He closed Leo's laptop and turned his attention to the blonde.

“He went to pick up a library book or something. What brings you here?”

“I suppose I was just in the area for a meeting and wanted to say hello. It seemed as good a time as any.”

“What's in the bag?” Niles asked, eyeing the brown grocery bag that Xander had in his arms. He was also somewhat annoyed. Inigo had not said anything at all, and Xander clearly didn't know what was going on.

Why was he surrounded by idiots who had no idea how to behave with their soulmate? At least, he supposed, Inigo didn't pick a fight with his.

“Hm?” Xander asked, and Niles thought he seemed a little uneasy. Maybe he knew about his soulmate, after all? Or in the very least, maybe he felt something instinctual. They said that a first meeting with a soulmate was shocking. Niles had always been told it was like a revelation, like something previously unclear was suddenly... plain as day. Niles wouldn't have known. Xander said “Oh—this is a care package Elise put together for Leo. She said he would need it to get through finals.”

“I'm hurt.” Niles scoffed. He watched Xander roll his eyes, but from inside the bag he pulled out two things. One was a small greeting card with his name on it, scrawled out in Elise's curly handwriting, and the other was a package of oreos (a personal favorite of Niles'). Niles took them from him and grinned. “Better.”

“I suppose I save a great deal on groceries when you aren't constantly raiding my pantry. You deserve them anyway. I'm actually very proud of you, Niles, for making it through your first year.”

Niles didn't want anyone to know how good that made him feel. He smirked at Xander (a man who was practically his brother, at this point in his life). “Well aren't you sweet. You've stolen my heart.”

Inigo's head snapped in Niles' direction. He looked like he was panicking. Was it because Niles said the word heart? Inigo sure was acting like he didn't want to talk about anything related to soulmates at all, considering he had been so silent. Niles was... unsure how Leo would feel about him intervening.

Xander turned his head to glance back at Inigo, when he undoubtedly noticed Niles looking at him. He said “How rude of us. As I was saying, my name is Xander. I am Leo's older brother. Are you his dorm mate? I believe he's mentioned you before—Inigo?”

“I—er—well, yes. I'm Inigo. I... hi.”

Oh, what a great job. For such a practiced flirt, Niles was surprised he had done such a poor job of... speaking.

“Are you alright?” Xander asked. Niles recognized a look of genuine concern cross his features—which was impressive because Xander _genuinely_ didn't care about many people outside of his family. The magic of soulmates, he supposed.

Inigo's eyes widened a little more, and his pink hair bounced when he nodded his head. “What? Ha! Yes! Absolutely. Just peachy, actually. How, um... How are you..?”

“Oh.” Xander hesitated. Niles thought he was going to start laughing out loud. No man was worse at small talk than Xander, and _oh_ it was precious to see him try and process a response to it. He was such an up front and down to business person. Niles was absolutely certain that Xander hadn't noticed his timer stop. He would have sent Niles away so he could speak to Inigo privately if he had. “I'm well. Thank you.”

Niles should have been given a goddamn medal for not losing his shit.

Xander took in a breath and released it. He looked uncomfortable. Niles was tempted to tell him why. He was also tempted to let the two of them suffer.

Suffering won.

“Alright, then. If Leo isn't here then I see no reason to take up anymore time. I'll see you in a few weeks, Niles. And good day, Inigo. It was nice to meet you. Please—feel better.”

Niles nodded his head and muttered a quiet “Bye, now.”

Inigo looked startled to be spoken to again. He sputtered. “Oh—um--I'm not—thank you? Bye!”

The door clicked shut. Xander was gone. Niles raised an eyebrow at his suite mate. “So... you're not going to tell him, I see?”

Inigo deflated. All his breath left him and he lifted up Owain's diary to cover his face and hide the bright red blush that formed when all his blood rushed back to his head. “I couldn't move if I tried.” He whispered. “He's—that's a _man_. Like an adult. I'm not—that's Leo's _brother_? He's—I...”

“There is nothing wrong with a healthy appreciation of the male form.”

“That's not what I meant Niles.”

“You never know if you like dick until you try it.”

“ _Stop_ , I'm begging you.”

Niles chuckled, but his work was done. He left Inigo alone, choosing to take his oreos and go back to his own bed. He dug out his phone and shot off a message to Leo.

 

He was more than satisfied with the response. Leo had clearly had it up to his ears with soulmates, after all. He all but hated his own (in spite of trying to be civil, it seemed that his future boyfriend wasn't interested in making love instead of war). He was probably just _thrilled_ to have more timer-related drama in his life. Niles was sure that living with Inigo came with a great deal of whining and complaints, after all.

Niles sighed and thought about soulmates. Two people, brought together by fate. Made for each other. Everything they did to make their mate happy, to be their forever. He wanted one so badly... even if he did a good job at hiding it. Didn't Inigo and Leo see how lucky they were? Their soulmates were real, and they just fell into their laps.

He had just opened up an oreo (to eat the icing first, like a goddamn adult) when the door to the room opened. Owain stepped inside, and he dropped his backpack on the floor by the desk. “Hey,” He greeted, and he _smiled_ at Niles.

Niles still melted for those stupid smiles. Maybe, he thought, maybe soulmates weren't that important anyway.

 


	6. "Soulmates are overrated."

Owain's fingernails bit into his hips, and Niles really only took that as encouragement and praise. His grip was almost bruising, Niles thought he might wake up in the morning with thumbprints where Owain was holding him so hard. He looked forward to it. He could tell Owain wasn't sure what was okay and what wasn't, at first. It came to him slowly, initially. He let Niles grind on him instead of meeting him halfway. Amazing what ten minutes could change. After he gained some confidence it poured out of him like light. He took hold of Niles' waist and _used him_ to get himself off, and Niles found it to be exactly what he wanted and more.

They were celebrating.

The school year was over, finals were done. They were celebrating the success of living through their freshman year of college. Celebrating in the way that let Niles sit on Owain's hips and ride his dick.

He should have considered it a privilege. Niles absolutely did not let just anyone fuck him. In fact, he didn't generally let _anyone_ fuck him. It was very vulnerable. Niles preferred to have complete control over the situation. It was safer. But... Owain was a special case. Niles _trusted him_. More than he wanted to admit. Niles trusted Owain, and Owain was a virgin, and it was just _easier_ this way.

He used his knees to lift himself up and off of Owain, to hold it just a half a second before he let gravity slam him back down hard. That worked three times, before Owain started physically _pulling_ him down by his hips. Where he came by that arm strength Niles still didn't know, but it was _really hot_. Did he know how attractive he was? It was fucking _rude_.

Owain shifted. Niles was sure he did it on accident, so he could use his leg to better push his hips up—to better cram himself into Niles like he wasn't already balls deep. It was an accident, he knew, but it still hit just right. It still had Niles lurching forward and bracing his hands on Owain's chest. It had been a hot minute since the last time his prostate had invited a friend to come play. He sucked in a breath so fast it burned, but it came out as a slow moan, broken up by the continued rutting. “Ngn, _God_ , stop.”

No sooner did the moan slip out of his mouth than everything stopped. The pleasure, the pressure it was mounting in him, the movement beneath him... For a second he even thought Owain had held his breath, but once his ears stopped ringing from the sudden halt, he could hear him panting loud and clear. Niles felt Owain's grip on his hips go slack. He was confused.

Owain looked to be too. “Wh-what?” He asked, and he stared at Niles like Niles had been the one who just made everything freeze. Niles knitted his brows together, tried to understand. He stared at Owain, at the way his bangs were just starting to get a little damp, and it made him push some of his own hair back for a second—before it all fell back into place on his shoulders.

“I... What are you..?” Why? Why was he looking at Niles like that? Was something wrong? Was he hurt?

“You said stop?”

 _Oh my god_. Niles felt a grin growing on his face, one that spread from ear to ear. “Heh... you listened.” He was so stupid and so cute. What was his _problem_? Was there an imperfect bone in him? He rolled his hips again. Slow at first, to get used to the weight of Owain's cock on his prostate... but then faster, as it grew less shocking and more desirable. “You don't have to stop. I'm fine.” He muttered, and he slid one of his hands down to pinch a nipple. Owain whined and arched his back. “You're cute, dork.”

Niles liked to be in complete control, but he trusted Owain, and thus far Owain had proved over and over that he was worthy of that trust.

It only took a few more grinds before Owain seemed convinced. He gripped Niles' hips hard again, fucked into him hard again, and made Niles keel forward again. That time Niles caught himself on Owain's shoulders, but used his grip on them as leverage to meet his thrusts. Thrusts that were becoming increasingly more sporadic.

Niles choked on his own moan when Owain promptly moved one of his hands to tug and pump him instead. He swiped his thumb over the slit, spread around the precum that had gathered in plenty.

After the first awkward sexual encounters they had, they became pretty regular. Niles had never asked for more than that (He wasn't quite sure what he could ask for, really) and Owain never acted like it bothered him any. Their friendship stayed exactly the same, with the addition of oral sex or mutual masturbation. It had been that way for months. In those months, Niles had developed a tolerance for Owain's stupid smiles and the static that came with his touches. Most of the time, at least. _This touch_ was new. The static that came with _this?_ It was unbearable.

Everything built up fast. Owain's frenzied pace didn't help. Niles dug his nails into Owain's shoulders hard when he came, and with a flushed face he chanced a glance at his roommate as he caught his breath. Stupid Owain looked so damn proud of himself. For a second.... but then he went right back to pulling on Niles' hips and even lifting him to accommodate his thrusting. Thrusts that burned in a pleasant way, that made Niles jerk with each aggressive jab against his now extra-sensitive body. Fast thrusts, quick and shallow and then one, two, three slow grinds... and then he stopped, dropped his hands from Niles' hips, and it was obvious he'd finished.

He was cute with his hair all messed up and sweat gathering on him. Niles sat upright and he drew his finger through the cum that had spilled on Owain's abs, making absent circles. “We'll have to work on your endurance.” He chimed, playfully.

Owain's face twisted into a shocked laugh. “You came first!”

“I did that on purpose.” Well, not really, but he had been abstained from this sort of sex for a long, long time. He wouldn't let it best him so easily next time.

Owain rolled his eyes at him, but right after he lit up a little bit. “Wait—so you'll do this again?”

“Mm... maybe.” Niles honestly would do it again in ten minutes, if Owain asked him to. He could do it every day, every hour, and he doubted he would ever grow bored of listening to Owain make quieted moans and leave bruises of his fingerprints. A touch on the side of his face startled him, he flinched away—but quickly relaxed when he realized Owain had just lifted his hand to touch his face.

He wanted to trust Owain enough that he didn't need to flinch. Touching him on his face was easily the hardest thing not to flinch away from, though, and... to be fair he didn't even see it coming. He couldn't see out that side of his head.

Owain's hand was warm and maybe a little sweaty, but both of them were gross and sweaty so that hardly mattered. He had only just relaxed into his palm when Owain leaned up just enough to pull him downwards. Niles had to shift, but Owain pulled him down and _cuddled him_... and Niles thought maybe it would be a nice change of pace to just sleep up on the top bunk with him, for once. There were no classes in the morning, anyway.

Owain tucked his forehead against Niles, but his eyes were shut and he was clearly planning to fall asleep like that. Niles thought he was right there—maybe he should have kissed him? He was familiar with kissing Owain's thighs, but his mouth was an entirely different story. It meant something different. Niles didn't kiss him. He closed his eyes, and started to drift off.

Owain very distinctly whispered “I'll miss you this summer.”

Niles knew he would miss him too.

 

…

 

 

Summer was lonely. Niles hadn't expected it to be. Owain disappeared, and so did the bruises on his hips, and Niles knew that he wouldn't be seeing either of those things again for three months. Summer wasn't all bad, though. He was spending it living in Xander's house, which was anything but quiet. He had moved out of his father's house a long time before, and took his siblings with him. Xander worked long hours, but Camilla played the roll of doting mother to her siblings, and was always around to cuddle. Even Niles... if he stooped low enough to ask.

Elise was always home too, seeing as how she was out of high school for the summer. Sometimes she had her friends over, but most of the time she was doing stupid nice things like baking cookies and doing fundraisers and volunteering at the hospital (which had been great, today).

Leo had put forth a serious effort to be productive, participating in some online classes during the summer. That was literally not surprising to Niles at all. Niles was supposed to pick a major before he enrolled for classes in the fall. He still hadn't landed on one yet.

Niles hadn't expected to miss Owain as badly as he did, but even more so he hadn't expected seeing Inigo to make it hurt twice as much. It was like he somehow associated the pink hair as an indicator that Owain was nearby. But he wasn't.

The soulmate situation with Xander and Inigo had been relatively simple to resolve, in the end. Leo got fed up and texted Xander from Inigo's phone right before summer break. Inigo was humiliated and Xander was relieved that he hadn't lost his soulmate forever. Xander worked _so_ hard, he gave up so much of his own joy to see his siblings happy. Niles thought he deserved to find his soulmate. Every time Niles thought about the evening that Xander met Inigo, he felt guilty. He  _hated_ to feel guilty. It wasn't even remotely his fault. He just kept imagining Xander's disappointment that night, when he realized his timer had stopped and he hadn't even noticed. Not to mention he had meetings that day--he'd probably met at least ten new people. 

Inigo was shy and lived far away (four hours, if you drove) so Xander built a relationship with him through texting. Niles was glad he was trying, but the idea of him texting anyone more than to tell them what time to pick someone up or when his meetings were was hard to believe. Especially because Inigo was almost as graceful in his texting habits as Niles. Which was to say  _a disgrace._ He must have been better at flirting via text, though... because Niles had noticed Xander smiling at his phone more often than he ever had before.

Eventually Inigo made a day trip to Nohr. He got up early and took a bus, and Niles imagined the whole journey was long and grumpy and only survived via coffee. He showed up at their door looking like he had never seen a mansion in his whole life (and to be fair he probably hadn't. That was a reasonable expression.) and Niles was... disappointed. Because his pink-haired-Owain-beacon hadn't brought Owain with him.

He supposed he knew that he wouldn't be coming along, deep down. Owain probably had tons of plans for the summer (camping, for sure) and Niles wasn't dating him by any means. They were just friends who had sex. Not boyfriends or lovers or  _soulmates_. 

The disappointment didn't last that long, though. It melted away when Inigo got into an accident, and he had the privilege of tormenting him at the hospital. 

  

He obviously hadn't been chaperoning their date, but from what he had gathered from the two of them halfway through they took a walk and a sidewalk grate that had likely needed to be replaced broke under Inigo, and he fell through. His ankle wasn't broken. Silver lining, probably.

But there they were at the hospital, with Elise giggling while she wrapped Inigo's ankle up so he wouldn't bend it, Inigo literally covering his face in shame, and Xander had excused himself to take a call.

“All done!” Elise chirped, and she gently pat his ankle. “Keep it up as much as you can, alright? And no walking on it! You've got to let it heal first. Just for a week or two. Use the crutches! They'll help it heal faster.”

Inigo shifted his hands so they formed a little triangle that covered his nose and mouth, while he nodded his head. “I—Th-thank you, Elise.” He sighed into his hands and then lowered them, to ask Niles for a favor. “Please don't send that picture you took to anyone...”

“You probably should have asked me that before I sent it to everyone.” Niles shrugged. Elise looked curious, but she slipped out of the room without complaint. Room was a strong word, of course. It was just a curtained off section in the ER.

Inigo finally seemed to be turning to a normal human color, and honestly Niles thought it was about time. He'd been blushing since Niles had gotten there (and oh, he hadn't wasted 10 seconds when he found out about the accident), and he'd likely been blushing before that too. “This is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me.” He whispered.

Niles was pretty sure Inigo would say that about anything, but he wasn't an expert on him.

“What's worse is I ruined the whole day—we've been here for so long. As soon as we leave I'll have to catch a bus home.”

“Oh, I think Xander will drive you.” Niles rolled his eyes. “He's not going to let his precious, injured, pink, little soulmate ride a bus home. He might look high and mighty but he's actually a teddy bear. Not that he'd admit it.”

“He thinks I'm an idiot!” Inigo squeaked. “This was a horrible idea. I'm his very opposite!”

“I think you're an idiot.” Niles said it like he was going to follow it up with something nice. Something along the lines of _But Xander thinks you're endearing_. But he didn't. He just left it at that. Inigo rolled his eyes at him.

When Xander came back in he offered to drive Inigo home, and Niles decided it was time for him to leave. Niles had expected Xander to take care of Inigo—obviously--because they _were_ soulmates. Even if Inigo wasn't at the same level of maturity as Xander. Xander acted like he was a middle aged man sometimes, but he wasn't even thirty. He needed Inigo's immaturity. Maybe it would fix him.

Niles wanted someone to fix _him_. Didn't he deserve to have an 'other half' too? Surely there was someone out there who would be there to make him smile even when he felt rotten, or to kiss away the hurts. There were so many people in the world. How could he have been left out of the group that got to live happily ever after?

Niles hadn't expected to miss Owain so much, but he sure as hell did.

 

…

 

The day that everyone was set to move back into the dorms Leo and Niles got there first. They got there early, arranged the furniture mostly the way it had been before. It was a different room, but it was the same layout. Niles put away his stuff exactly the way he had before, and left empty the areas that Owain's belongings used to take up. Same desk, same bunk bed, same ugly couch.

The dorm was the same, but it was quiet without him there.

Niles didn't like the way he felt about Owain anymore. He'd never really been _thrilled_ to have a crush, but he was starting to... worry. Weren't crushes only supposed to last so long? He felt like this was more than that. He just didn't want to put a word with it. Words were... very final.

Owain hadn't been there when Niles left to run to the mini mart up the street. He _was there_ when Niles got back. Niles pushed open the door and walked inside the room, and the first thing he noticed was Owain snap his head up, in his direction.

He was laying on his belly doing _something_. His head was near the foot of the bed, his ankles were crossed and raised in the air. He must have been reading or playing on his phone. Now he was looking at Niles, though.

_Did he actually get more cute?_

He was so tan from the summer, and his hair was significantly lighter blonde. Clearly he'd gotten a lot of sun, for it to have lightened up. In addition to the tan were _freckles_. The freckles that used to ghost his skin were darkened. He looked so good Niles _hated it_. He cleared his throat (and his thoughts). “You look like an abercrombie ad.”

Owain grinned at him from his spot. “My image is too frightening for the eyes of the masses.”

Niles set the plastic bag he'd brought back from the mini mart down on the desk. That was it. Prior to that moment the desk had been cleared off, but with that action Niles had officially made it a dumping ground again, and in the blink of an eye they would both have piled it high with junk. He left the bag behind and stepped out of his shoes, and then climbed up the side of the bed.

He didn't climb into the bed, just balanced on the lower mattress with his feet so that his head was at eye level with Owain. He hugged the rail of the top bunk with one arm, and he looked downwards to see what Owain had been doing. He was looking at a comic book. It looked to be a super hero comic, but Niles didn't get much of a chance to look. Owain kissed him.

How had he done that? It was like he had planned it, planned for Niles to come up to his level. He leaned forward in a swoop, didn't miss a beat, and their lips pressed together into a short (but firm) kiss. Niles was stunned.

So stunned he had to tighten his grip on the rail of the bed, because he may have just fallen off if he hadn't. His knees certainly offered him no support, they _buckled_. He swooned like a prissy girl in a frilly movie.

And it was over before it started! Niles swore his lips were tingling when Owain pulled away, and his eyes were trained on his mouth when he spoke up. “I wanted to do that before I left, but... well even a hero can't _always_ be brave.” Owain sounded very sincere. Niles was sincerely having a hard time processing it. He'd kissed him. It was so short lived, it...

...wasn't enough.

His sea legs came back to him and he pushed himself up onto the top bunk faster than he thought he ever had before. Owain started to say something but it turned into an argument, because Niles tossed the comic book onto the floor. (Something about it's condition? Niles didn't care.) Niles grabbed Owain's face and pulled him forward and kissed him good. Kissed him _right_.

Owain had to shift a little to accommodate Niles. He did it without question. Niles ran his tongue over Owain's lips and he also opened his mouth without question, and when Niles pushed his tongue deeper into his mouth to taste him, Owain _moaned_. Muted, still, but so much better than any other time Owain had muted a moan, because this time he had moaned right into Niles' _mouth_. He said a little prayer that Owain would do that every time.

Niles was more than certain that he had proved his point when he pulled away, still feeling tingly but certainly sure that he'd demonstrated what a kiss was supposed to be. Owain shifted to sit up correctly, and Niles was _proud_ that he had to reach up and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.

He smiled again, and he asked “So... did you miss me?”

“You're a goddamn dork.” Niles countered, because he couldn't answer that. Had he missed Owain? Yes—more than was the fair allotted amount for one adult.

Owain turned pink, a blush that spread out under his newly darkened freckles, and he whispered “But maybe your dork?” Niles... wasn't sure what he meant by that, or what the blush entailed. That was, until Owain cleared his throat and fixed his gaze. “I know we didn't say anything about it before, but maybe I could be your boyfriend?”

“You're... asking me out?” Niles asked. He wasn't sure why. Didn't Owain know that they were at a very safe spot in their friendship? They were friends who had sex, but weren't obligated to anything. That was most peoples' ideal. Wasn't it?

“Owain Dark does not stutter.”

“Don't lie.”

“Okay—well I didn't stutter _this time_. I am asking you out.”

He looked like he wanted it so bad, and Niles really just... didn't want to say no. He wanted to say yes really, _really_ badly. But it was doomed. Owain knew that, didn't he? Owain's soulmate was dead, and even though Niles was _obsessed_ with him... well he couldn't replace the person who was really meant for him. Not forever. “I'm not your soulmate, you know.”

Owain's smile faltered, and Niles almost wished he had just said yes instead. He _was_ going to say yes. After this he was sure of it. He was going to say yes and he was going to make out with his _boyfriend_ and he was going to make him forget about his dead soulmate for as long as he possibly could. It only faltered for a second, Owain's smile. It turned into a tiny frown, but he righted the situation quickly.

“Soulmates are overrated.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phineas and ferb voice: thERES A HUNDRED AND FOUR DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION
> 
> plz don't mind my doodles but fun fact i have learned: it does not matter how hard u try if you draw niles without an eye patch it does not look like him.


	7. "You never worry about anything."

The school year was still very young in mid-october, but it was comfortable. Everyone had gotten into the flow of things. Bless Inigo's heart, he had another morning class—but this time it wasn't until 9:30 so he got to sleep for a whole extra hour before he began his coffee ritual. Owain didn't have an evening class this semester, so he was done with all of his stuff around four. That gave him time to start going to some nerdy club.

Leo and Niles shared one class. It was an ethics class, so it wasn't surprising that Niles generally just browsed tumblr instead of paying attention.

More important than Leo sharing that class with Niles was Leo sharing that class with his soulmate. It had been awkward, at first. Niles thought it was incredible how Leo could force his brother and Inigo together and yet somehow still not have a full grasp on his own soulmate. But... magic happened (as it always seemed to, with soulmates).

After the first couple of weeks they actually started talking to each other. Leo loaned him a book. Niles was pretty sure that was when they started talking more frequently. About the book. As peers. Definitely not as boys who were going to have crazy sex someday.

(Honestly why wait? They were soulmates, after all. It would all work out. Maybe that was the reason why Niles didn't have a soulmate: because his sense of patience was negotiable.)

In any case, Niles had quite enjoyed watching Leo develop feelings for that boy. After years and years of friendship... it was incredible to see someone _perfect_ for him. Someone who gave a crap about the books he liked to hide away in, and someone who understood the whole 'middle child syndrome' he suffered through. Leo being so smitten with the leader of the ugly ponytail squad was the highlight of having to sit through the ethics class. That, and the reaction Takumi had when he heard the term 'ugly ponytail squad'.

Normally Niles enjoyed the class, but that day he didn't. That day something _happened_.

He had been playing around on his phone like usual while the teacher gave a lecture. About halfway through the class he felt... wrong. He didn't know why he felt wrong, or even _what_ felt wrong. It just felt wrong. He tried to ignore it best he could, but he couldn't. He just kept scrolling past the same posts over and over, not really seeing them.

Was he sick?

He didn't feel sick. He felt anxious. Cripplingly so, because he couldn't focus on anything at all besides the fact that something was wrong. He jumped when Leo nudged him on his arm. “Niles, are you alright?”

“What?”

“You're pale.”

“I'm fine.” He lied, lied through his teeth because he wasn't fine. Something wasn't right. Something wasn't right with _Owain_. He didn't know why he felt that way, he couldn't have told anyone if they asked. He just knew. The moment the idea entered his head he knew it to be true. Something was wrong with Owain.

What could have happened to him? It was hard to say. Something had happened, though. Niles felt it like an ache, through his whole body. Something was _wrong_ with his dork.

The seconds turned into minutes that were ticking away while he grew less and less comfortable with where he was sitting. He opened snapchat on his phone and took a picture. Not of himself, or of Leo. Just of a pencil laying on the table. He wrote _“super bored_ ” across it, and sent it to Owain. Since they had been dating, and even before, Owain had been pretty attached to his phone. Even if he didn't respond to something, he always opened messages right away.

He didn't open the snap. Niles' hands were shaking.

“Tell me what's wrong.” Leo whispered to him, but Niles didn't really know what to say. He just had this horrible, awful feeling. It was like someone had told him in advance that the world was ending, but not how to avoid it. He clenched his hands into fists and then flexed them again.

“I think something bad happened.” He whispered back, but that was all he could really say. He pulled up the news app on his phone (for maybe the first time in his life) to browse the articles. Maybe for evidence.

Leo didn't seem satisfied with the answer. Niles wouldn't have been either. It wasn't really something Niles had: concern. He didn't worry about things the way others did, unless it would affect one of the few people he cared about. Leo leaned closer and looked over his shoulder. “Are you reading about _real accidents_?”

Yes, he was. Maybe if he found one it would quell the anxiety. He didn't know why that would help, though. He just knew he felt horrible not  _knowing_. When the class ended Leo didn't waste any time. He didn't even talk to his soulmate! He picked up his stuff and he pulled Niles outside into the fresh air, which was somewhat calming but also twice as scary. It was like he was more vulnerable out there. He stood in front of him and put both of his hands on Niles' shoulders (Niles didn't particularly like that, but this was Leo and he would probably let Leo do anything to him) and he said “Okay, now breathe. Tell me what's going on.”

Niles was hesitant, obviously. He didn't have a good explanation, or any rhyme or reason at all really. Leo was his _best friend_ , though. If anyone could help him it was Leo. “I think something happened to Owain.” He crossed his arms in front of himself, more to hug himself than anything else. Partly to keep himself from bouncing in his nervousness. He tried not to look at Leo. He was ashamed. He felt stupid but something was _wrong_ , and how could he ignore it?

Leo's lips pressed together in a line, and he considered Niles carefully. Niles didn't like it. That was a look reserved for something that bothered Leo, and Niles wasn't often on the receiving end of it. He said “Did he say something to you? Why do you think something is wrong?”

“He didn't say anything I just _feel_ like something is wrong.” Niles whispered. Why was he whispering? He felt timid. It was uncomfortable.

“Well did you text him?” Leo asked, and his voice was laced with something. Optimism? Not likely, Leo had always been pessimistic. But even still, he was good at faking it for Elise. Niles didn't want fake optimism.

“He didn't open the text.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he still has the stupid 'read-receipts' enabled on his phone like a dumb ass, Leo! I just know, okay? He didn't respond, he didn't look at his phone. Something is wrong!”

“Niles!” Leo's voice snapped him back into a reality he hadn't realized he'd ventured from. He was panicking. He was overreacting. It was _stupid_. His arms fell to his sides, and he listened to Leo while he spoke. “Just stop. Nothing is wrong with anyone. Inigo said they had a test in their music theory class, he probably just turned off his phone. Besides, when did you develop motherly intuition for _Owain_?”

It was a good question. Niles didn't know the answer. He didn't know why he felt this way, he just knew how he felt. And he _felt_ like Leo's answer wasn't good enough. He held it in, though. Leo put his index finger and thumb against his chin, clearly in thought. Niles didn't really care to know what he was thinking about, but Leo asked him a question that made him falter.

“Niles, is Owain's soulmate dead?”

If Leo was trying to distract him to make him feel better, it wasn't working. It didn't make him feel better. It was somewhat distracting, though. He frowned. “I... why?”

“I've only ever seen him wear that band on his arm.” Leo answered. Niles nodded his head.

“Yes, and people wear that band when their soulmate is dead, so...”

"Well, no,” Leo interrupted. “People wear that band when they don't want anyone to see their timer. There's no law that says your soulmate has to be dead for you to cover up your timer.”

Niles shifted in place. He was jittery. Leo curled his lips into a tight frown, and Niles mirrored it. “Why does this matter?”

“It matters because what you're feeling right now—this panic? It's very common among soulmates, when one or the other is in danger, or hurt, or what have you. Have you...” Niles watched Leo visibly hesitate. Niles knew what he was going to say before he said it. He stared at him, practically daring him to finish his sentence. Leo said “Have you considered that maybe you _do_ have a soulmate?”

No. Niles hadn't considered it. He had been told his whole life that it was very unlikely he would ever have one. Owain's soulmate was dead. Leo was proposing something _preposterous_. Why would he put that idea in Niles' head? Why give him some semblance of hope, to have another half?

“I'm going to go check their class.” Niles murmured, and he backed away a few steps before he turned his back and walked away from Leo.

Niles wanted a soulmate more than anyone in the world, he thought, but he didn't want to get his hopes up for nothing. Leo had put a _horrible_ idea in his head and he wished... that he hadn't. Niles walked quickly to the building where the music theory class was, but... a peek through the door made it clear that Owain was not there. Neither was Inigo.

Niles went home.

 

…

 

It was 11 at night when the door opened.

Prior to that moment Niles had been sitting on the ugly couch with Leo. They were watching shitty sitcom reruns. Or, that was to say, they were sitting on the couch in front of shitty sitcom reruns. Niles had been internally imagining worst case scenarios. He had been imagining his life with Owain dead. Sure he could have sex with anyone, it didn't _have_ to be him. He could get a new boyfriend. He could have a different roommate, one who was less obnoxious.

But he didn't want to.

He wanted his dork.

Leo was on his phone doing lord knew what. Niles thought he was texting Takumi, but he wouldn't have known. He wasn't his normal, snoopy self today. He was nervous. He'd had trouble doing anything, really. Even eating was a task that he hadn't been up to.

But then the door opened at 11 at night.

It was Inigo. The pink-haired-Owain-beacon, in all his glory. Skinny jeans, vans, jacket, pink: Inigo. He had Owain's key in his hand, he'd used it to open the door. Inigo used a messenger bag, it was strapped across his chest. He also had Owain's backpack slung onto his shoulder, though, and while he met the eyes of his roommates he let Owain's bag drop the the floor with a thud.

Niles thought Inigo looked surprised to see them. Maybe just surprised to see them on the couch. “Did I miss the sleepover memo?”

“Where were you two?” Leo asked. He stood up off the couch, free from the torture of keeping Niles company. Niles appreciated it, he supposed. It was nice of Leo not to leave him to stew in horrible thoughts all alone. He hadn't provided much of a distraction, but his presence was comforting none the less.

Owain walked in after Inigo and Leo stopped before he even began his lecture on punctuality or communication. Niles was _hyper aware_ of the cast on his arm. Solid, black cast that wrapped all the way from just below Owain's elbow to the space between his fingers and thumbs. On the arm opposite his timer, his birthmark was covered by it. (Surely that meant many comments about his weakened sword arm, but Niles didn't think Owain had even held a real sword in his life.) 

Leo turned around and glanced at Niles. He looked like he was entirely shocked. Niles wasn't surprised at all. He _knew_ Owain wasn't right. He was actually relieved it was just his arm. Leo asked “What _happened_?”

Owain raised up his arms dramatically. Inigo reached out and took a cup of coffee from him (likely he'd asked him to hold it while Inigo got the door) but after that he backed up a few steps so Owain could express his natural flair. “Picture this,” Owain said, “I, Owain Dark, _Hero_ of the empty skies, suddenly attacked! A blow so fierce from behind that the very breath was ripped from my lungs. My foe, unnamed, and I--!”

“Someone bumped into him and he fell down the big stairs.” Inigo interrupted. “You know, the cement ones? He was a mess.”

“So you broke your arm..?” Niles asked, and he was almost afraid to. Thankfully his voice came out collected and smooth. Owain extended the cast like he was displaying it.

“My wrist, too. You could see the bone. It was so cool!”

“It was _awful_.” Inigo corrected. “I had to drive him to the hospital, and they had to reset it. It took all day. We missed our test! I still need to email the professor and ask if he'll let us take it tomorrow.” He tossed a frown in Niles' general direction. “Next time Owain has to stay in the ER for ten hours, you can take him. He's _your_ boyfriend.”

Niles would have gladly sat up there and tormented Owain all day, had he been given the chance. (About anything and everything, really. His injury, his choice in cast color, his fear of needles, all of it.) Leo and Inigo left, they went back to their room. Niles was left staring at Owain's arm, taking it in.

He was right.

Something had been wrong with Owain. He'd gone to the hospital, probably had some level of surgery, his arm was in a cast. The horrible, awful feeling that Niles had all day was _real_. Owain stepped out of his shoes and he moved to take his shirt off. Niles watched in amusement each step of the way as Owain got his arm stuck, and then tried to back up the process, and got his whole body stuck in his shirt.

With a click of his tongue Niles pushed himself off of the ugly couch to rescue him. “Gone all day and not even a text.” He cooed while he untangled Owain's arms from the fabric. With a final tug it came off, and Owain was left to sheepishly grin at him. “What if I had been worried?”

“You never worry about anything.” Owain argued, and he sounded pretty confident about that. Maybe Niles was better at putting up a passive appearance than he thought.

“Mm... that is very true.” Niles answered, and it came out smooth as silk but it was the biggest lie he had ever told in his entire life. He had been so worried about Owain that he almost threw up. He had worried about him _bad_. But he was fine. His dork was fine, right there in front of him, and Niles slipped his fingers into the belt loops of his jeans to pull Owain closer—and to slam their bodies together.

Owain was fine. He wasn't going to die or vanish from the world forever. _Owain Dark_ lived on. He lived on and he tilted his head just slightly. Just enough that he was clearly asking to be kissed, and it was _cute_. He was so stupid, and so cute. Niles humored him, and closed the distance between their mouths. Maybe it was the way they kissed that made Owain do it, but he pulled away and wrinkled his nose. His brows came together, he looked offended, and Niles wasn't sure what he did to earn that look. There must have been something written on his face, because Owain asked “Are you alright?”

Niles hummed in approval. “Mm, why do you ask?” He guided Owain towards the bunk bed, and he pushed him back. Owain fell onto the mattress with surprise written over his features, he bounced just a hair when he hit the sheets. Niles felt... a little guilty about his arm, after he remembered it. Owain didn't complain. Instead he clearly accommodated his boyfriend. Niles crawled over him, made Owain push his knees apart to make room for him between them, and he leaned down to nip at a fading red hickey that set where Owain's neck and shoulder met. He meant to darken it. Owain put his hands on Niles' biceps, and then he nodded his head like he was confirming something to himself.

“You're shaking.” Owain explained. Was he? Niles hadn't noticed at all, but once Owain said it he felt like his arms were betraying him. He didn't feel wobbly or shaky anymore. He was calming down quite nicely since his dork was safely in his sights again.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” He muttered, and he drew his kisses along Owain's collarbone. He stopped when he noticed a bandage. He must have gotten a little scraped up in his fall. Cement stairs were unforgiving. He was lucky he hadn't cracked his head open. Owain dropped the subject. Thank goodness, because Niles didn't think he wanted to explain his fears. He shifted his weight to one arm so that he could slide the other up the length of Owain's side. Owain was all muscle and taught skin and angular bones. Curves didn't really describe him at all. He was twice as beautiful as anything curvy, Niles thought.

Owain let his casted arm fall to rest on the bed. His other hand reached out for Niles, and grabbed at his wandering touch. He gripped him by the wrist and pulled him forward. Niles lost his balance and fell over his boyfriend. Owain didn't seem fazed. He put his hand on the back of Niles' head (and Niles didn't even flinch, to his own surprise) and pulled him forward to kiss.

Owain liked to be kissed. Niles had figured that out about three seconds after their first kiss. He liked the closeness, the affection, but also he liked the privilege of putting his lips where no one else was allowed to. He didn't limit it to closed doors, or to making out either. He was the type to kiss him on the way out the door, or in greeting. He kissed Niles on his cheek or on his forehead when they were sitting close enough. He would lift their hands and kiss his fingers. He would probably have been happy just like that—but Niles knew that he was twice as delighted to be kissed _back_. When Owain kissed him on his forehead it was just a kiss. Niles appreciated it, but it meant little in the long run. When Niles kissed _Owain_ on his head it meant more. Owain clearly cherished those moments.

Because he was cute and cuddly and touchy.

Owain wanted to be kissed more than Niles kissed him in that moment, and it was clear because when he pulled away to breathe Owain looked entirely unsatisfied. Niles sat back on his knees anyway, and while he looked breathlessly over his boyfriend he pushed his hair back off of his neck. He was wrapped around this asshole's finger, he realized too little too late. There was no stopping it now. Owain had effectively _ruined him_. Niles struggled daily to keep up his cool demeanor around Owain. It was hard to be emotionless when he was in love with him.

 _Not love_ , his mind chimed at him, _Love is too dangerous. Anything but love._

“You look hot with your hair pulled back.” Owain didn't sound like he was faring much better on the breathing front, and Niles dropped his hands and let his hair fall back into place the moment he said it. Owain rolled his eyes at him. “No, really! It's like you mean business. So much business that you have to put your hair back, lest it distract you from your ultimate goals and...”

Owain trailed off when Niles relieved him of his pants. Maybe it was the way Niles was behaving, or the fact that Owain had been letting him worship his hands over his body earlier, but a look crossed over Owain's face that seemed somewhat out of place. Niles dipped his head to one side, just enough that his hair fell over his shoulder, and he smirked. “Are you afraid of being fucked? I'm hurt. I've been nothing but a generous lover.” He mocked offense, but it was actually very true. He had forced himself to be very persistent in ensuring Owain's pleasure.

It wasn't that hard to force himself to do something he enjoyed so much. Owain was his favorite guilty pleasure. While he spoke he leaned over the side of the bed and groped around for the lube that usually got kicked there. He chuckled at the miffed sound Owain made, a half muted protest on his lips already. Undoubtedly he would have a comeback about how unafraid he was, but Niles found what he was looking for and resumed kissing Owain until the words were long forgotten on his lips.

Owain responded to kissing and that was why Niles continued to do so, even when he pushed one of Owain's knees back and moved his hand down to massage his thigh. Owain would protest that he wasn't nervous or afraid, but he _was_. Niles knew. It wasn't hard to guess by the way that he twitched when the lube clicked open. Niles pulled his mouth away from Owain's, kissed a trail between his bruised lips and his ear, and he cooed “Relax, now.”

“This is far from the first time we've had sex. I'm versed in how this works.” Owain muttered, and his cheeks dusted pink, and Niles thought it was more than a little cute. Niles sat up and away from Owain then. The air between them got a little cold, and Owain's eyes stayed focused on Niles' hands as he tilted the bottle and poured lube over his fingers. He glanced at Owain again, and then he moved his hand down to the pucker of Owain's entrance and in one gentle motion pushed his finger in entirely to the knuckle. Owain sucked in a breath—tensed but then forced himself to relax—but best of all he made a noise caught between a laugh and a whine. “ _Okay_ ,” He started the sentence, but he never really finished it.

It was probably a complaint, but the complaint melted into a noise of approval when Niles reached forward with his other hand and curled his fingers around Owain's dick. He was mostly hard when he started, but he grew harder with a few strokes of Niles' hand. With that stroking he matched the movements of his finger, until Owain forgot all about that and was clearly just focusing on the handjob his boyfriend was so generously bestowing.

When Niles saw fit to slide a second finger in to join the first, that was when the magic started. Niles had truly expected Owain to protest. He knew that Owain had been nervous about this, after all. He had never done this. Niles hadn't expected Owain to hum a noise of appreciation when he did it. An appreciation that continued even when he probed around, even when he spread his fingers wide. A glance cast up at Owain made it clear he was planning to look anywhere but Niles. He was shy about liking this.

His arm that wasn't currently wrapped up in a cast had been draped over his eyes, but it didn't cover his blush. That was the arm with the band wrapped around it, and for a second Niles focused on it. Damn Leo for putting the idea in his head. Damn him for implying Owain may have a soulmate. It was haunting him now. He let go of Owain's cock (he had worried he may go soft, but Niles had a feeling that was a stupid thing to worry about at this point) and used that hand to push Owain's leg back. He rubbed his thumb along his skin there. He still felt lightning when they touched—every time they touched. He still got goosebumps from something as silly as a little kiss. Was that... was it more than just an obsession? Was it fate?

Niles curled his fingers on purpose. Easily he could have added a third and continued the process, but if Owain _liked_ this... who was he to rush? His actions were well received. Owain shifted his hips, squirmed lower onto his fingers, but better yet he moaned. Quietly, sure, just a tiny noise... but very clear. Niles pushed his fingers back into place where it counted—made Owain's hips twitch again. Made him moan again. Unmuted. No restraint. Quiet, but... Niles could change that, given the chance.

“ _Niles_.” Owain's voice cut his thoughts. His stupid thoughts. Muddied by moans and soulmates and irrational daydreams, but Owain said “You're—this is... add another.”

“Oh? Aren't we impatient.”

“You're drawing this out!” Owain lifted his arm away from his face, actually looked at Niles in the eye, and Niles could see that his words were a cover to hide the way his cock twitched in excitement with just being fingered.

“You just want more.” He knew, too, Niles thought. He knew that today was the day he would come undone. He had to know. Niles gave him what he wanted though. He had plenty of opportunity to mock him further, or to tease him for enjoying the stretch. He didn't want to. Stupid Owain was harder to tease. He was special. Not to mention he didn't want to shame him for it. Niles _wanted him_ to love this. And he so clearly did. It was almost a shame that it had to come to an end. Niles honestly considered just getting him off like that. It would have been easy. Owain was practically doing it for him. But Niles was selfish, and he _wanted him_ , and so he pulled his fingers away. The mild protest was amusing. “Hush.” He whispered.

All it took was a little more lube and a shift in position. Niles couldn't pretend that he hadn't been hard just waiting for that moment, and Owain was more than willing. But Niles hesitated. They were positioned just right, Niles rubbed the head of his cock against Owain (entirely to torment him), and Owain groaned when he realized that was where Niles intended to stop. Niles hadn't even opened his mouth to say anything yet when Owain said “Don't make me beg.”

Niles snickered at him, slowly pressed forward. Owain sucked in a gasp. “Just that you would consider begging is more than enough.” It was gradual. Niles watched himself disappear into his boyfriend—there was no resistance. Owain tilted his head back into the pillow and released the breath he'd been holding. Niles imagined he should have told him to breathe through it, but... Well Owain had claimed to know how all this worked, after all. He clearly didn't _need_ warning.

Or at least that was the logic Niles would be clinging to while he fucked his boyfriend for the first time. Admittedly a sigh left his own lips, a little pleasured noise because of the distantly familiar heat and tightness and how it combined with the fireworks that Owain's touches always brought. He shifted forward to kiss him. He meant to peck him. Owain meant for more than that. It was obvious in the way he chased after his lips when Niles pulled away, in how his eyes were heavy and lidded and Niles felt very _wanted_.

Owain lifted his arm in a somewhat familiar action. Niles knew he wanted to wrap it around him, to drag him down into some form of cuddle or kiss. Still, Niles reached out and caught it to stop him. His hand wrapped around the heavy black cast, and he quietly scolded him. “Careful with that, dork.” After all, if Owain accidentally slugged him with his cast how would Niles make him come undone? He guided Owain's arm for him, let him rest it on the back of his neck, and Owain rolled his eyes like he was sick of Niles being cautious around him.

Maybe he was, but he always, always relented when Niles stopped him. Which was what made them different, he supposed, because Owain was careful not to do things that made Niles feel weak, but Niles wanted nothing more than to make Owain break underneath him. Which was what guided him to peel his hips back and push them back in, taking up a pace if only so Owain could get his bearings quickly.

Owain wrapped his other arm around Niles' neck too, and dragged him down. Niles wasn't always as kissy as Owain was, but he wanted to be today. Not only because of this, not only because Owain was trying something that had previously been out of his comfort zone... but because he had been so worried about him. He had been so afraid something was wrong, and it had knotted him up inside so badly... Part of him was still worried about him. Part of him still thought he'd better kiss him now, before he was gone.

That was until Owain lifted his legs to wrap around Niles' hips. Literally twisted them at the ankle, even. Then, Niles thought with a hum, he was no longer worried about a damn thing. Owain did it to himself, honestly. He wanted more and he was given it. Niles thought it was some form of heaven, the way Owain pulled him closer, and squirmed, and rocked desperately for more...and Niles knew what he was trying to achieve. He thought it would be too much for Owain, honestly. He thought he was all too sensitive—that it would be too shocking for him to enjoy. But he peeled himself away from Owain's mouth anyway, to guide him. He steadied the blonde's hips, held them in place even. Owain wasn't thrilled. Niles was. He _lived_ for this. Complete control over what Owain was feeling... and he was angry at himself for not forcing Owain to man up and do this earlier in their relationship, since he so blatantly  _loved it_.

“D-Don't just _stop_.” Owain croaked, and his cock looked painfully hard between them. He moved a hand towards it and Niles knocked it away. He didn't say a word about how he didn't want Owain to touch himself (Excuse him! This was his opportunity to play with his boyfriend, why should he speed it along?) but Owain groaned and tried to lift his hips, tried to force Niles to plunge back into him... it was an amusing sight to behold.

But then Niles snapped his hips forward. Owain moaned, but he hardly was satisfied because Niles only granted him gentle, shallow grinds. It was obvious that Niles was trying to rile him up and Owain looked like he might actually have considered smacking him in the head with the cast after all. “Harder would be _fine_.”

“Is patience not one of Owain Dark's many virtues?” Niles let out an airy laugh. It felt _so good_. Owain, that was. Every twitch of his hips was sweet torture, for both of them.

“Revenge is.” Owain tried. It was broken into a hot moan—a surprised moan—when Niles humored him and managed to rock into just the right spot. Niles thought he wasn't even remotely afraid of whatever revenge Owain thought was suited to him. “W-Wait, I...” He tried. Niles watched carefully the expression on his boyfriend's face. Frustration, confusion, realization... “D-Do that again.”

Oh he would. He did! After all, now that he had found the precise location of Owain's prostate he had no intention of ever, _ever_ forgetting. Maybe not for the entire rest of his life. He granted that request—and the earlier request of 'harder'--in tandem. Owain was, as Niles suspected, _not prepared_. His hips jolted as far away from Niles as they could from the shock—and as per his request Niles pulled him back hard each time.

And Owain _broke_.

“Ah-- _gods--_ Niles, _please_ , I...” Would he finish that sentence? Niles knew he meant to say it was too much. He didn't relent, of course. Owain had been the cocky idiot who said he knew how this worked, who said he wanted more and more until Niles finally _gave_ it to him, and now there he was brushing aside his generosity? But _gods_ Niles was lucky he didn't come to a complete stop in shock alone. Owain was _so loud_.

Obscenely loud. The sort of loud that people were when they faked it—but he wasn't faking it and it was clear on as day on his face. No muting, no muffles, no bit lips or swallows to keep the volume down. The whole damn _floor_ was going to know that not only was Owain having sex, but it was the best sex of his entire life.

It was by far the hottest thing Niles had ever seen, and damn if he hadn't _seen some shit_ in his life. Owain came _fast_. After an assault on his body like that, Niles wasn't surprised. He had promised to please him, after all. Owain's hips and body jolted twice as hard after he came, hyper sensitive no doubt to each thrust and grind Niles made—but luckily for him after that display it didn't take long. Owain looked _like a mess_ , but a mess that Niles happily collapsed into when he opened up his shaky arms.

A part of Niles was very aware that Owain hadn't gone soft right away. Sometime, he thought, he would have to see how many times he could make him cum before he did.

That was for another day, though. In the moment, he certainly had other things to think about. Specifically about the poor boy under him, taking such ragged breaths. His eyes were glossy--had that orgasm brought him to tears? It was precious. Niles slid onto his side, shifted to hold Owain without any argument. He'd earned a good cuddle. Owain stretched his neck until his lips met Niles' collarbone, he kissed there (Niles assumed it was the first thing he could reach without moving) and he draped his arm over him. It was almost peaceful.

That was until he heard a shout from the other dorm in their suite. Also a thud—Niles could guess it was the sound of Inigo's textbook hitting the wall. _“Are you done? Praise the gods! I did not sign up for that!”_

Niles thought it was far from the last time he would hear that complaint if he had anything to say about it. Owain snorted an embarrassed laugh against Niles' chest, and hid his face there. He would probably be even more shy about it come morning, when Inigo and he went to their make up test.

He looked so exhausted... Niles almost felt bad for asking, but he _couldn't_ ignore it very much longer. So he laid his cheek on top of Owain's head and whispered “What happened to your soulmate?”

Owain shifted to mouth drowsy kisses along his throat. “I don't know.”

“They died?” Niles tried. Owain stopped kissing his throat. Niles thought he could feel Owain tense up.

“...No. As far as I know they're fine. I... they aren't dead. I just...”

Niles thought his heart was beating too loud. Would Owain hear it?  “Why do you wear that band if they aren't dead?”

“I don't like the premise.” Owain muttered. “Owain Dark makes his own fate, he doesn't bow down to a predetermined plan. I haven't looked at that timer since I was fifteen. Does... it matter?”

Niles shook his head no, but that was a lie. It did matter. It mattered a lot. It meant that Owain _had a soulmate_. There was someone out there made for him. His perfect partner. And as much as Leo's suggestion made Niles _hopeful_... this information brought with it a lot of fear, too. What if Niles was _not_ his soulmate? What if Owain still had yet to meet his perfect match?

How was Niles supposed to give Owain up, when he loved him so much?

Everything was better before he asked. It was better when Owain's soulmate was dead.

 


	8. Niles the Stargazer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update woo hoo

Niles had to wash his sheets the morning after that. Normally a little spot wouldn't bother him but Owain had made a _mess_. Niles had been happy to suffer through washing his sheets for that, though. Owian had left early in the day with Inigo to go get to their make up test.

Niles had been thinking about Owain's soulmate all day.

Leo had wanted to give him hope when he said that maybe he had one. A soulmate. Niles didn't really have that hope, though. It was there—weak in the back of his mind—but mostly he was just afraid. Twice as likely as someone with a broken timer having a soulmate was the possibility that Owain just hadn't met his _real_ soulmate yet.

Niles didn't know what he would do. When the moment was right, someone would come into Owain's life and swoop him away. It always happened. Soulmates were _magical_ like that. It wasn't fair! Niles was in _deep_ for Owain. He was in love with Owain.

Well, he was trying to convince his mind to stop telling him that he was in love, but it was a losing battle. Niles had never _been_ in love before. Lust was passing. Crushes were passing. This was real. This was stupid. This was wanting to wake up beside him in the mornings, and wanting to go to stupid plays with him, and wanting to get their own place. This was _bad_.

Worse, now that Niles knew it was doomed.

It was going to hurt so badly to lose him. The thought crossed his mind a hundred times, but... he didn't want to waste his time dwelling on that. If their time was limited Niles was going to make the most of it while it lasted, he thought.

He tried to do homework but he couldn't really focus. He kept going back to his phone, to stupid vines or twitter posts or tumblr or anything to pass the time. Then he put his freshly cleaned sheets on the bed and faced getting through the second part of the day.

Luckily around two his dork came home. He strolled in like he hadn't been suffering at all. Wasn't he worried about this whole soulmate situation? Didn't he know that every time he kissed Niles it was some kind of taboo? Owain hesitated in the doorway for a minute when he first laid eyes on Niles... but otherwise he walked closer and held out a package. “Hey,” He said, when Niles reached for it. “Look what I got.”

It was a set of white sharpie paint markers. For his cast, no doubt. Niles pulled back on the cardboard to break the package open, but froze when Owain leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

Was that strictly necessary? Why was he always cute and affectionate? It was physically _painful_ now, because Niles would lose that someday. What if it was someday soon? What if the next few minutes were their last? How could Owain cope with this stress every day?

Owain settled on sitting down beside Niles, and once he had the package open Niles reached out and took Owain's casted arm. He pulled it into his lap and then shook the paint pen to get the ink flowing. He wasn't sure what to draw, just yet. He tapped the pen's end against the cast a few times, it made a clicking noise. Shortly after he uncapped it, and took to drawing tiny stars around Owain's wrist and where his thumb was.

Owain was staring at him. Niles was unsure why. Was he contemplating his fate? Was he considering their downfall? Maybe he was just sore and not sure how to ask for advice. Niles would happily have rubbed his back for him, if the previous night made him stiff. He looked up at Owain once—their eyes met. Niles looked down again, at his work. A few twinkling stars to clear up the darkness, and also he drew a crescent moon, before he sighed.

“Okay, what are you staring at?” He really was dwelling on the soulmate thing. He really expected it to be negative. He expected them to talk about how they weren't meant to be together forever.

Owain clearly had occupied his thoughts with something entirely different. He didn't hesitate, just blatantly said “Your hair is in a ponytail.”

 _Shit._ This was far from what he expected. Owain was the one who said he liked it, the night before. Niles was just trying to humor him. He hadn't anticipated being called out for it. That was embarrassing. Couldn't Owain just be a decent human being and not mention that? He swallowed that down, making a fine point of staying focused on his stars. “You said you liked it pulled back.”

“I did. I mean, I do.” Owain answered, and Niles could hear him smiling. “It's just cute. You, I mean. You put your hair up because I said I like it. That's really cute, Niles.”

Niles could swear his shoulders were shaking with how hard he was trying not to blush. It wasn't working, either, because he could feel heat in his cheeks. He was thankful that his skin was dark—it made blushing less noticeable—but he knew Owain was watching his face. Owain _knew_ he was blushing. Niles hesitated in his work. Stars were nice, but that was when Owain was being a good person and not when he was mentally _torturing_ Niles. He shifted gears, and took up drawing something new: a nice, fat dick. “I didn't do it just for you.”

“Yes you did.” Ugh, it was gross. He was grinning. He was grinning so big that it was clear in his voice.

What was _worse_ was that it was true! He had done it just for Owain. He was thoroughly regretting it, now. Like a lot. He scrawled bold letters when he wrote the words “Cock Sucker”. Then he underlined it. Three times. The third underline was when Owain's attention must have shifted down to what he was doing, because he ripped his hand away.

“Hey! I have to wear this for a month!”

“You're the idiot who gave me a marker.” Niles shrugged.

Owain had none of it. “You're just mad because I called you cute!”

“Don't make me break your other arm, dork.”

“Ha! Unbreakable!” Owain chimed. He held out his arm like it was some sort of evidence. “My body has quickly learned the err of its ways and will never allow itself to be so fragile again! I have developed a tolerance to— _ow_.”

Niles reached out and twisted it. Owain's arm, that was. Just enough to make Owain say ow—he wouldn't have _actually_ broken it. Still, the yelp was more than a little satisfying. It was Niles' turn to grin, and he let go of Owain just to watch him cradle his arm. “You're damn lucky I love you.” He muttered.

Half a second.

It took half a second before their eyes met. They had very different reactions. Fear crawled up Niles' throat. Had he really said that? Out loud? It was too real. Too solid, too serious, too scary. He had said it out loud. His eyes flashed with fear. Owain _lit up_. He beamed like he was the sun, shining his stupid light down on the darkness that he claimed to live and breathe.

“What did you just say?”

“I—what?” Niles shook his head. _Get that panicked look off your face, Niles, man up._ He thought. It didn't work.

“You said you love me.”

“No I didn't.” Niles argued. Why was Owain so confident? God though, he looked happy. Happy like when Niles agreed to go out with him. Happy like when they were following that poet around the back of a bar.

“Yes, you did! I heard it!” He laughed. It was a good laugh. It was the reaction you _wanted_ someone to have when you accidentally confessed your feelings.

Niles was anxious anyway. “No, I...”

“Niles the Stargazer: The moon who shines the brightest when he lives among the darkness! A victim of romance, blinded by love! And who can blame him? He has fallen for the astounding and irresistible Owain Dark!”

Niles thought if he died right then it would solve all of his problems. The issue with Owain's real soulmate would be resolved, and also the matter of the _red, horrible blush_ on his face might be taken care of. This was it.

Owain broke him.

He lost his cool, he lost all of it. There was no suave response, there was no chill way to shrug it off and act like it wasn't important to him. He was blushing, humiliated. He was in love. He was actually considering hiding his face in a pillow.

He couldn't look at Owain. He was _shaking_ for gods sake. He was so scared. Owain wasn't his—he belonged to someone else. Before it was easy to care that much because at least Owain's soulmate was dead. Now they weren't. Now they were going to come take him away, and Niles was a duck sitting on its ass and in _love_.

Owain pushed him back by his shoulders. Niles let him, felt the pillow under his head and the way the ponytail sat uncomfortably under his neck and Owain took up residency between his legs. He had all of his weight on his good arm, the other one, his casted arm, that one moved closer to his face. He couldn't very well cup his cheek with his hand, but he slid his fingers over Niles' cheek and Niles thought they felt _so cold_ by comparison to how hot his face was.

But it was comfortable. It was a sexual position and that made it much closer to Niles' comfort zone than lovey dovey bullshit was. But Owain wasn't having sex. That was blatantly obvious, too. Niles saw him lean down and he expected a kiss. He closed his eyes in anticipation of it, even. Owain didn't just kiss him, though. He pecked his forehead, sure, but then he just leaned closer.

He put their noses together, rubbed them for a moment. _Nuzzled him_ like the cuddly asshole he was. “You don't always have to act so cool for me, Niles.”

Niles felt an involuntary noise in his throat, and to avoid it coming out he clamped his mouth shut tightly. Owain must have heard it anyway, because he leaned closer and kissed the corner of his mouth.

“You don't have to be afraid of being in love. Just because your timer is broken doesn't mean you are.”

 _Fuck him._ How could he say that? Who gave him the right to be empathetic like that? Niles was pretty convinced he was going to cry if Owain kept talking like that. His eyes felt damp (gods, he hoped he wasn't actually crying already) and Owain was staring _right at him_.

“I'll protect you, Niles.” Owain murmured, and he pulled away so he could look at him very specifically in the eyes. Niles' vision was focused on Owain's. He couldn't look anywhere else, even if he wanted to. He was trapped. “And besides... there is a reason that you were able to injure my otherwise unbreakable body so easily. You're more than just any rival, Niles. You're my _weakness_. You will always bring Owain Dark to his knees.”

The second hand embarrassment was strong with that one. Niles swore his skin burned hotter, but... It was so stupid. It was so stupid because he was almost crying. He wanted to cry. It was stupid because he wanted to cry but at the same time he just wanted to _laugh_ because of how stupid his dork was. His dork. He didn't belong to anyone else, not yet. And maybe he never would? Maybe Niles could win him over from his soulmate. He would certainly try.

He was so cute. Gods, he was staring down at Niles like he was taking him in—like he wanted to remember this moment or something. Niles said a little prayer that he forgot damn near instantly.

Owain dipped his nose down to where Niles' neck met his shoulder, he nuzzled him there. Then he kissed him. He left a trail of kisses, with one or two little nips mixed in, between that spot and the shell of his ear. He stopped. He paused (for stupid dramatic effect, probably) and then he said “I love you too, Niles.”

“Jesus shit, Owain,” Niles whispered back. “I fucking hate you.” He reached out and took the blonde's cheeks in his hand, and he pulled the idiot down to kiss him for real.

 


	9. This time while I wait, every second counts

Winter.

Niles was used to the snow and the cold, and honestly he preferred it to hot weather. He wasn't much for festivities, by any means. He just preferred cooler temperatures. This time last year he would have been thrilled to take the two week break from school. This year he was sort of dreading it. After all, Owain was going to spend his winter break with his family at a ski resort. (Were those even real? Niles thought they were exclusive to sitcoms.) It would be all sorts of fun, Niles imagined, in a place with very little phone service and loads of ways to get hurt. Not that Niles really cared if Owain went skiing, and far be it from him to care if he got hurt... but he certainly was wary of the dreadful feeling he had when Owain was seriously injured before. 

Owain would be leaving soon. He had already slipped on his backpack. His duffle bag was by the door. He was just waiting on a ride to arrive. They were supposed to be saying goodbye, the two of them, but... well, they got distracted. (It was easy to get distracted with Owain.) He had once been striking some ridiculous pose and versing a poem or some shit about how he would miss him, but he waved one of his hands too close to Niles, and he was caught. For a second Owain stared at his wrist, trapped. It was wrapped snugly in grip. Then he looked at Niles, and his round frown from being caught turned entirely upside down. He narrowed his eyes like he was challenging Niles, and Niles most certainly accepted. He snapped his arm closer to him, pulled him forward. 

It left Owain to stumble onto Niles' lap. Niles continued to tug, and eventually it forced their faces together, forced their mouths to touch. Owain grinned a wide grin against his lips, and he nipped at Niles' lower lip. (He wasn't very gentle about it either. The brat had figured out Niles' greatest pleasures fairly quickly. Pain was a high priority, both inflicting or receiving. When Owain bit him, he rarely did so with reserve. Niles loved him for it.)

Owain had to shift somewhat to properly straddle Niles. He shifted his knees onto either side of his lap, and he stayed tall on them. He made himself taller like that, made Niles tilt his head back so that he could kiss him. He made Niles crane his neck to push his tongue into Owain's mouth, made him  _work for it._ It drove him up the wall in the best way, he thought. Niles steadied Owain by holding his thighs, and honestly he couldn't be held responsible for his wandering hands when they worked upwards and massaged circles against his ass. He felt and heard Owain hum at the touch. Niles imagined that Owain was trying to determine if they had time for a round before he left. They didn't. 

It was incredible (in the best way) to Niles how Owain made the transformation from someone who was sort of afraid to take a dick up the ass into someone who was such a goddamn prostate slut that Niles could genuinely get him hard just talking about it. It was a  _beautiful_ transformation, to say the least. It was also a super power that Niles had already abused on multiple occasions, and intended to for years to come.

Owain's kisses were hot and his touch was fire. Niles could barely keep up with him. He thought Owain was trying to make up for the coming weeks they would be apart. He took complete control of that kiss, rearranged their tongues until he could run his own along the inside of Niles' mouth, his teeth, his lips, anything really. He knotted his fingers into white locks so tightly that Niles was the one moaning, then. Ten minutes without Owain would be a punishment. Two weeks would be genuine torture. How would they ever survive the summer? Suddenly, and rudely, Owain's cellphone chirped at them, a notification of a text message. That alone was what it took to still Owain's mouth against his, although it did nothing to still his breathing. Owain took in a deeper breath, probably planning to speak. Niles tilted his lips closer, again, so that he could suck on Owain's lip anyway, until he pulled back to whisper "That's probably my ride." 

“So naughty. It's impolite to start what you won't be here to finish, you know.” Niles spoke smooth as silk, but his breathing was shaky from those kisses. Their lips were still brushing against each other, he could physically feel Owain smile against his mouth. It was maybe his favorite feeling in the world (but he would never dare tell him that.) Owain smiled a smile that said he was proud of what he had done, of the arousal he had caused, and proud of himself for taking something Niles wanted away from him. (Maybe Niles was rubbing off on Owain? He imagined that wasn't a good thing.) 

“I'll finish it when I get back.” Owain promised while he stood up and off of Niles. He straightened his jeans. No amount of straightening was going to make him look any less like he had a raging boner, so Niles thought it was a wasted effort. Owain ended up shrugging it off. He said “A man as sexually unrivaled as Owain Dark is worth the wait, right?”

“I'm going to fuck every student on this campus.” Niles answered, with a smirk. He watched Owain's face fall, reveled in the way his pride took a hit. It was precious. His disappointment was like a compliment, in a twisted, horrible way.Of course, Niles wouldn't have dreamed of having sex with anyone else for the rest of his life. Not really. No one else sent lightning through him. Owain did things to him that were  _unfair_. 

“Hey! Way to shoot down my ego!”

“It was getting too high for your own good, dumbass.”

“Your cruelty is unrivaled.” Owain's phone bleeped at them again. He leaned forward to peck Niles' lips again. A goodbye kiss. Niles could recognize them, by then. He could write a book about the different kisses that Owain graced him with, and he would still always think he didn't deserve a single one. The pecks that meant he was leaving or in a rush, the desperate kisses that silently pleaded for sex, the lazy kisses in the aftermath... even the way his affection often overflowed into seemingly random kisses on Niles' shoulder or arm when they were sharing the ugly couch and watching tv or playing a game. He didn't have time to write a book. Owain was retreating for the door. “I'll be back in a couple weeks, okay? Prepare yourself—both physically and mentally—for I will redeem my pride!”

“Whatever, dork. Just don't go breaking your goddamn arm again. If you come back with another cast I'm drawing another dick.”

...And just like that, he was gone, and Niles was left with the sound of his laughter as he jogged down the hall. It was a gross feeling. It was like loneliness sank in without missing a heartbeat. The dorm was too quiet, his lips tingled where Owain had kissed him numb, and he would be missing him for two weeks. Of course... they wouldn't be staying at the campus much longer. Leo and Niles were going back to Nohr, to spend the break with their family (Leo's family, specifically, but Niles had been a mooch there for long enough that he was accepted as one of their own). Inigo was going to spend a night there, too, before he went back home to Ylisse.

(His plan was to stay in one of the many guest rooms. Niles didn't buy that for a minute. Inigo was going to lose his virginity at their Christmas Eve Eve party, tipsy on spiked warm cider and eggnog and warmed by the hands of a rich man, and no one would convince Niles otherwise.)

It would be comfortable. Niles already knew the fireplace would be roaring every day, there would be cookies and cocoa. Leo would take up permanent residency on the chair closest to the fire, with a blanket and a pile of books. Xander would undoubtedly play piano for his sisters to sing. Niles imagined if he asked nicely, he may even get a certain pink haired flirt to dance with them.

It would be fun. The loneliness... that would probably pass. In the mean time, Niles wanted to shower. He sighed and pushed himself up off of the couch. He swore he could still hear the sound of the door closing behind Owain, it echoed in his mind. He glanced at the door again, like he expected Owain to come sweeping through it to say he forgot something. But he didn't.

Niles tugged his shirt over his head just as the door opened. Not the real door. The door to the bathroom. Leo walked in, and cast a glance at him. Niles tossed his shirt over onto his bed. Leo looked... shocked? What was wrong with him? Niles waved a hand in front of his eyes. “You know, Leo, _you_ walked in on _me_.”

“N-Niles!”

“Don't you like what you see?”

“Wh—no-- _ugh_ \--Your arm, Niles! Look at it!”

His arm? Niles closed his mouth and held both his arms in front of him, to look them over. There was nothing special. Just his usual array of scars and a bruise he'd earned by taking Inigo's coffee away from him on the morning of his foreign language final. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Was he bleeding? He didn't remember getting hurt. But then...

Then his heart stopped.

His eyes fell onto his timer and he saw _movement_. There was a countdown, where earlier there had only been a line of zeroes. Where there had _always_ been a line of zeroes. “I...what?”

Leo stepped closer to him, pushed his bangs out of his eyes. He was so concerned--and Niles understood now why he had been so shocked. This was just about the strangest thing to ever happen to Niles, that was certain. Leo reached out for Niles' arm with a gentle hand, and Niles let him take it. Leo studied the timer, as if he thought it might shape shift right in front of him. The digits read: 15:01:28:32...31...30....29. It kept ticking down. Niles cleared his throat. “What does that mean?”

Why would it suddenly start working now, of all times? “It means you're going to meet your soulmate in fifteen days.” Leo answered, as if he knew it to be a fact. As if this wasn't a special circumstance, a crazy, unprecedented event. Niles was quiet, considering the information. If his timer was working, that meant he had a soulmate, real and true, didn't it? “What's in fifteen days, Niles?”

Two weeks. It was only just over two weeks, and Niles tried to think of what would be happening then. They would be coming back from Xander's home. They would come to the dorm, get settled in again... and _Owain_ would come back. Would it have been destiny if his timer was counting to that moment, when his sunny dork came back into his life? Sure—there was a risk. Obviously he could meet someone brand new; his soulmate could be someone down the hall or in his new classes or even just a stranger he met on the street, but... He had a gut feeling...and his gut was rarely wrong. It was the first time in over a month he felt _confident_ in his relationship with Owain, like he wasn't just drinking poison until Owain's real soulmate took him away. Maybe _Niles_ was Owain's real soulmate. 

“Niles..? You're... smiling. It's a little off-putting.” It was an attempt at humor, by Leo. Niles looked back at Leo's face to see him smiling as well, his tiny smile he offered when he was genuinely happy. Was Niles smiling so much that he brought that look to Leo's face? If so it had certainly been worth stepping out of his shady character. “What's got that look on your face?”

Niles shook his head left and right, slowly. He didn't want to explain it. It was too much raw hope anyway. He should have been more careful with his own heart, he was vulnerable. But...He wasn't careful. Not this time. He reached into his back pocket and pulled his phone out, so he could snap a video of his timer to Owain. Moving. His timer was _moving_. It had numbers on it—it was _incredible_!

Part of him almost thought it didn't matter. Even if it wasn't counting for Owain, it meant he _had a soulmate_. He wasn't destined to be alone. He wasn't a _lonely_. He wasn't broken.

No. It wasn't what he really wanted to hear (or read). Didn't Owain get it? Maybe his timer said the same thing! Of course... maybe it didn't. Maybe they weren't destined to be together. He supposed he couldn't force Owain to take that band off while he was away...

But he sure as hell would the moment that he came back.

 

…

 

00:00:09:47

Two weeks had been torture. Niles became _obsessed_ with his timer. Everyone had a different opinion on it. Camilla had cooed over it, like she thought it meant he was finally going to find someone who would hold him and love him just right. Xander seemed concerned, specifically that it would lead to heartbreak. To show concern for Niles at all was more than a little flattering, considering he often considered Niles to be an annoyance. (Leo claimed that Xander considered him to be his sibling—they all did. Niles had a hard time believing that, even if the feeling was mutual.)

Leo and Inigo were both confident it would match Owain's. Leo was sure that his theory was right and he practically had an essay of evidence to prove it. Inigo was hopeful. He smiled when he thought about it, said that he thought maybe this was the best thing in the world _for_ Owain. Elise was just so happy that Niles had a soulmate at all, she almost burst. Takumi's (very short and not exactly asked for) opinion was rather pessimistic. Niles thought that everything he said was pessimism, though. Perhaps even more than Leo tended to have. At least Leo was optimistic about this. Less than ten minutes, though, and everyone would know.

Or at least, Niles would. Everyone else would find out later.

00:00:04:32

Leo said sometimes when soulmates had been together a long time, their timers started up again when they separated for long periods of time. He said that without very much conviction, because he thought it had been exclusive to movies. He hadn't realized it could actually _happen_... but once he'd googled it he was sure that was what happened. The jolt that Niles' body felt by being separated from its other half was enough to make the timer leap into action.

He couldn't focus on his phone. He was just focused on the _door_. He knew Owain was on his way back, he'd texted him a few times that day.

They could be _soulmates_. It would have explained everything. The static behind his touches, the way that his kisses still gave him butterflies, the way that he _knew_ when Owain was hurt, or when he wasn't in a good mood. The way that Owain could touch him and Niles wasn't afraid.

00:00:00:07

He could hear footsteps outside the door, and his head snapped up. Fear welled in him. What if it was a knock? A knock would mean a stranger. What if it wasn't Owain? Maybe someone would enter thinking it was their dorm, by mistake? The knob twisted and so did Niles' stomach.

00:00:00:00

His eyes were the same as they always were, but Niles knew when he met them that everything had changed. In a goddamn instant it was real. This was real. Owain held his gaze for a minute. Did he feel it too? Niles held out his arm, the zeroes that ran across it. He used to hate those zeroes... used to think they marked him as nothing important. Now he might cherish them, he thought. They meant he had met his soulmate.

Again.

Owain smiled at him, at his arm, but he also seemed distant. Niles smiled too, but his attention was entirely focused on the band on _Owain's arm_. “You'll take that off now, won't you?”

Owain shook his head no and Niles stopped smiling. The blonde set his bag on the floor and took a seat on the ugly couch. He skipped his 'hello' kiss. Niles was offended. Both by the lacking kiss and also by the fact that he wouldn't take off the band. It was the only thing standing between Niles and absolute certainty! “Why not?”

“I just—I don't buy into soulmates. I'm not taking it off, I— _woah!"_ Niles hadn't expected that to make him as mad as it did, but he knew he was going to get rid of that stupid band. He _had to know_. He had to know that they were soulmates. It was _important_. Niles needed to know he wasn't alone in the world, he had to know his dork was _actually_ his. So he tackled him. Owain, that was. The dork in question. He jumped over the back of the couch to grope for Owain's arm (god help him, he would take the damn band off _himself_ ), but Owain lost his balance and they fell.

Ungracefully. Unhappily. This was not the romantic (or sexual) reunion Niles had been envisioning for two weeks. 

They fell between the “coffee table” (still the big block of wood that was 'conveniently for storage' but actually just took up the space where normal people kept their feet) and the couch (which had a solid base, there was no such thing as 'under the couch'). Niles felt his shoulders wedge between the two objects but he didn't get stuck. Couldn't. He had to win.

He had waited _so long_. His whole life, really. He deserved this. “Take it off!”

“ _Hey_! Get your hand out of my hair—sheesh that hurts!” Owain was scrambling. He was trying to get away. He wanted to squirm free of Niles and his plans to take that band away. Niles would have probably grabbed onto anything he could to keep him there. He shifted, tried to pin Owain down, but that idiot must have worked some kind of spell on him because he couldn't seem to capture him.

Finally Owain pinned _him_. Niles let out a grunt when his wrists were pushed back over his head. He hated that part of him loved it, too. Owain being rough with him was just about his favorite thing--right after his stupid dopey smiles on his mouth. Owain's legs were on either side of Niles, they barely fit with the stupid couch and table. He was sitting on his abs for the most part. He looked proud of himself. “Ha! A valiant, if not somewhat dishonest, effort, but none can take down the mighty--”

Niles kicked the coffee table. A recently-abandoned can of soda tipped over, and its contents poured out over the 'mighty' Owain's back and shoulders. He froze at first, but then after the shock wore off he jolted upright. He jolted _wrong_. All he managed to do was twist himself so that he was wedged between the coffee table and Niles—and there was no real escape from that. “WhaT IS THAT?”

Niles thought it was not unlike when a cat accidentally fell into a bathtub. The can had tilted over and was still dribbling a trail of liquid from the table and onto Owain, who couldn't move away from it. It would have been funny if Niles wasn't furious about this. “Take the band off!”

“ICY _GODS!_ Why am I wet? Oh god oh god it's cold.”

“I have spent _two years_ with you. _NO ONE WOULD DO THAT_ IF THEY WEREN'T YOUR SOULMATE. YOU'RE A GODDAMN WEIRDO, OWAIN.” Honestly there was no need to yell. Owain was _right in front of him_. They were physically stuck together between two unbudging blocks of stupid and ugly. Instead of shouting Niles should have been kissing him--making up for lost time. He was just angry. Owain sort of deserved it... and Niles wasn't above fighting dirty.

“NILES MOVE SO I CAN GET UP, IT'S SO COLD.”

“I'll move if you take the band off.” Niles muttered. It felt quiet, for a second. Owain stared right into his eyes and Niles almost lost his nerve. Maybe he didn't need to make Owain take it off. There was something really... wrong about that expression, on Owain's face. Owain arched his back in his efforts to get away, pressed himself as close to Niles as possible to try and escape from the dribbles of cold liquid, and Niles finally relented and shifted enough that Owain could get free.

Finally, Owain rolled over and straddled Niles. He sat comfortably on his hips, and hastily he peeled off his shirt (literally soaked) and tried to sop up the rest of the soda from the table before it spilled any further. He left the wet shirt on the table. Owain looked at Niles and he had that expression again. He shivered, but Niles didn't know if it was from the cold drink or whatever had put that expression on him.

“Niles, I'm _scared_. I don't want to take the band off.”

Had Niles ever heard Owain admit to feeling fear, before? He knew that Owain wasn't invincible, as often as he pretended to be.. He was afraid of a few things. Niles knew he was afraid of needles. He didn't even like to look at them, really. Even on television shows, they made him cringe. He also knew Owain was afraid of unexpected claps of thunder. Once or twice when it stormed badly, Owain slipped down to sleep with Niles in his bunk. He pretended it was because he wanted a sexual favor... Niles saw through it. He wouldn't have pegged Owain as being afraid of this. Niles sat up the best he could. Owain was sitting on his hips, so Niles just propped himself up on his arms. The carpet was squishy under his palms where it absorbed the soda. Carbonated warfare had not been the best choice Niles ever made.

He didn't like that look on Owain's face, because he didn't think he had ever seen Owain be afraid of _him_ before. “What are you so afraid of?”

Owain blushed. His cheeks turned just faintly pink, and the tips of his ears, and he turned to look away. Niles shifted his weight to one hand so he could use the other to redirect Owain's attention back to him. Owain sighed. “...What if I take it off... and it hasn't stopped? What if you're _not_ my soulmate? I don't... want that. I'm happy the way things are—I _love you_.”

“Owain,” Niles felt wrong to scold him for those feelings. They were very real and valid. Niles had the _exact same_ fears, he thought. He had been having those fears since the moment he found out Owain's soulmate was alive. He slid his hand to hold Owain's cheek—and his face twisted in disgust because of how sticky Owain's skin was. His hair was wet too—he was _covered_ in the soda. He snorted out a quiet laugh. Owain smiled. It was a fleeting smile, but... still good. “It won't make a difference. We're the same amount of doomed if you look at it or if you don't.”

“That isn't... that isn't comforting, Niles. I don't want to be doomed.”

“I will love you forever either way, _Owain Dork_.”

“Dark.”

“Same difference.” Niles watched Owain process that comment, watched him open his mouth to protest it... and then watched him close his mouth and look reserved, again. If Owain's timer hadn't stopped, it was certain that they were doomed. They would be just another tragic set of lovers who never stayed together. Niles knew that was a risk, but it wasn't a _real risk_. It was a fact, it was already written. That band was just sheltering them from the truth. “If you have a real soulmate, and it isn't me, I'll just love you until you decide you want them instead.”

(The idea of watching Owain fall in love with someone else was one Niles did not want to dwell on.)

“But I don't want anyone else! I want...” Owain turned his head to the side and kissed Niles on his palm. "I want something real. Nothing staged, no whimsical destiny. My whole life is a production, I just want..." 

“Take off the band, Owain. You can't hide from it forever.”

Owain caved. He cautiously extended his arm to Niles. His left arm—the arm with the band on it. Niles shifted to sit up better, but the space they were in was wet and cramped. When Niles reached out for the band he could see Owain close his eyes and look away, like he was getting blood drawn and not just having an elastic band removed. He was really scared, wasn't he?

Niles was, too. The band was tight on Owain's skin. It had been there since he was fifteen, he had said, and it was faded but strong. He wriggled one of his fingers beneath the band, between it and Owain's skin. It wasn't really easy. Those bands were meant to stay in place. He gave a sharp tug.

Owain winced and even jumped a little when the band broke with a snap. He had the  _stupidest_ tan line. The skin hidden by that band was practically grey it was so white, especially by comparison to Owain's normal skin tone that was so sunny and warm. The color of his skin (and how it practically highlighted his timer, now) would be something to pick fun at later, though. First and foremost he had a big, fat 'I-told-you-so' to issue.

“You can look now, dork.”

Owain still seemed hesitant to look, but he must have found courage when he peeked at Niles and saw the wide grin on his face. He had been _right_. Niles was just so happy, it was criminal really. Watching Owain experience that happiness was even better. He watched Owain look down at the timer, and the noise he made was also joke-worthy. It was caught between a sigh and a chuckle.

Niles reached out and put his hands into Owain's stupid sticky-wet hair and pulled him close to kiss (finally). Owain swallowed a sigh of relief and leaned into that kiss to deepen it. They certainly had two weeks worth of making out to catch up on—and it was among Niles' favorite hobbies. It would be even more fun knowing that he was making out with his _soulmate_. “We should celebrate.” He murmured into Owain's mouth. The blonde smiled on his lips again, kissed the corner of Niles' mouth. “I would be very interested in seeing you entirely naked, now that your stupid band is gone.”

“Because that inch of skin really matters.” Owain scoffed. Niles nodded his head, though, and pulled Owain's arm to his mouth. He kissed the lightened skin, kissed the timer itself. Owain watched like it was the most surprising thing he had ever seen, and then he blushed something dark.

“I think it may be my new favorite part of you.” And maybe it was? After all, it was evidence that Niles was meant to be happy. Owain was meant to be happy. Niles would _enjoy_ being the one to make him smile every day. He would earn this privilege to have a soulmate. “...You should really shower, dork.”

“ _Oh_ yeah. I'm pretty gross.” Owain agreed instantly, but he was mysteriously quiet after that. Eventually he opened his mouth, and closed it again. Finally, he added. “Seeing as how your villainous deeds are responsible for this mess _anyway_...”

“Mm, I would be _happy_ join you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one chapter left one chapter left we are in it to win it guys


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A three part epilogue because i can

Part I: As The Sun Loves The Moon, I Shall Always Shine For You

 

Owain was shining brighter than the sun ever had that summer day. Or maybe, Niles supposed, it just felt that way. Owain rarely came to Nohr, after all. He lived in Ylisse, where the skies were clear and restrictions and fines on pollution were high. It was suburbia with white fences and nice houses and community events. Nohr was four hours away and highly industrialized. The skies were often clouded by puffs of steam from the factories. The skyline was littered with skyscrapers, and at night the city was lit up. It was beautiful in its own right... but certainly not in the same way.

Owain was too bright for Nohr. He didn't belong there. Everyone in Nohr just went about their own business, eyes on the ground, walking fast, blending in. Owain didn't blend in with anything. Niles had considered that a few times in his life, but more than ever in the past month.

Every summer was a challenge for them, but this summer more than any other. Normally they suffered through, saw each other once or twice, and made up for it tenfold when they moved back into their dorm in the fall. That, of course, was where the problem really laid. It was over. School was over. There would be no moving into the dorm that year... And Niles hated where their relationship was standing. He hated seeing Owain only when they had the time to make a four hour day trip. He wanted more.

Of course, he understood that Owain couldn't make a long trip all the time. Niles couldn't make those trips constantly, either. They had both changed over the course of a few years. Owain grew up. Not entirely. He looked more grown up on the outside. He looked like an adult instead of the lanky teenager he was when they first met. He didn't really grow up on the inside. He still spent his days spewing nonsense and living in a fantasy. The only difference was that he was being paid to do so, now.

Owain went into his college education as a theatre major and he hadn't changed his mind about it. Niles was glad, because it really seemed to be where his heart was. He participated in school productions all through school, and Niles had gone to every one (even when he wasn't interested in them). The previous year Owain took up writing, too. He came up with a story, a children's book, about a group of kids who went back in time to save the world. Inigo read it because he read everything Owain ever wrote. Niles read it because Owain asked him to—which was something he didn't do often. Between the two of them they convinced Owain to send it to a couple publishers and, sure enough, they bought. It was a hit—already in the process of publication.

They contracted Owain. They contacted him the morning of graduation and he accepted, and they sent the paperwork in the mail not too long after. Owain was an _author_. In his spare time, that was. It was a great job, but it wouldn't pay the bills, not yet. He wasn't famous, he just wrote a children's book. He spent most of his days in auditions or rehearsals for paid performances.

Niles thought Owain was going to be famous one day. Remembered through his writing and through his performances, and his brightness would never fade from the world, not entirely. He would become the legend he wanted to be.

Owain couldn't come visit all the time because he had a life in Ylisse. Niles couldn't visit Ylisse often because he had started working, too. In college it took him two years to finally decide what he wanted to do with his life... and then it took two years of reminders that he was making a good choice, and that he could do it. (Owain told him he could do anything, that he was strong, and Niles sometimes wondered if that was true. Was he this strong?)

Niles had to work on classes through the summer, once he chose his path, but Leo helped him and Owain supported him and even Inigo (who spent a tad more time in Nohr than Owain did) often brought him coffee and encouragement. It was a success in the end. He graduated with a double major in social work and in criminal justice. Before he even had his degree in his hand, he was accepted for an internship that would provide him with the field work he required to work in child protective services.

Niles had been lucky that a social worker plucked him out of the dirty slums when he was still young. Even though he spent his youth in an orphanage and saw his fair share of horrible things... well he wasn't bitter. He wanted to do what that man did for him. He wanted to take children out of abusive homes, out of hopeless lives, and get them the help they needed. He was quite a fan of karma and suffering, but... children didn't deserve it. He was busy. Too busy to drive to Ylisse everyday, certainly.

He had been thinking about this for a while. It weighed on his mind every day. Owain was his soulmate, and when they were together everything was sparks of pleasure and warm happiness. When they were apart everything was knotted and lonely. Niles didn't like being apart. He wanted to go see Owain's stupid performances. He wanted to come home and tell him about his good days. He wanted to fall into his arms when he faced the bad (and Niles had already seen in his limited field work... when it came to abusive situations, they could be _bad_. _)_

He wanted to go back to school, if only so he could crawl into bed with Owain. The thought had crossed his mind a few times, before it occurred to him that school wasn't the only way he could get what he wanted. There were other options. Options that didn't include bunk beds or suite mates or finals. Better options.

Owain's visits were scarce but they made everything better. They took away the loneliness and the longing. Owain's kisses chased away the darkness and filled him up with light again, and made him complete. Maybe that was why he ultimately tolerated his antics so well... but that didn't make it any easier in the moment.

“C'mon, please? It'll be cool!” Owain was hanging upside down off of some playground equipment. It had been abandoned, that early in the morning. Owain took the first bus he could, and he arrived in Nohr early. They were supposed to just pass by the playground, but... well Owain's inner child was too strong, that day.

Niles walked closer to Owain, tucked his hands into his back pockets. Not close enough to Owain to grant him his request, though. “Just get down and kiss me like a normal person.” Niles was distracted, of course. He thought today was the day, and he had all day to do it... but how would he know when the right moment was? Was there such a thing? He had been debating since the moment he'd tucked the ring into his back pocket, that morning. Every time he pocketed his hands and fiddled with it, butterflies that he didn't appreciate threatened to fly out of his mouth.

For Owain it should be something grand, shouldn't it? An incredible gesture. ...But neither of them were rich (although they both had close connections) and Niles did not make enough money, as an intern, for something spectacular. He barely made enough money for this splurge. Should he have waited until he could afford to give Owain the stars right out of the sky?

No. Why prolong the inevitable? They were  _soulmates_. This was their fate.

“It wouldn't _really_ be a spiderman kiss if I wasn't upside down.” Owain argued with a tone that made it sound like it was _so obvious_. Niles thought it was stupid. The bars weren't tall enough, it would be awkward for both of them, and for what? Just to kiss him while he was upside down? It was the same damn kiss he would get if he was rightside up, just uncoordinated.

Niles had no idea how to go about asking Owain to marry him. He had hoped that if he just gave him the ring, Owain would figure it out and he wouldn't have to say anything special, or get on a knee, or anything too vulnerable. Part of him was sure that Owain would know what it meant when someone's soulmate gave them a ring. The other part of him worried that he wouldn't understand, right away.

Niles looked to the left, and to the right, and he sighed. No one was around. He had no good reason to deny Owain a 'fantasy'. It was best to just get it over with before Owain passed out from all the blood pooling in his head. He rolled his eyes before he humored him with the kiss he wanted. Part of him thought it would be easiest to just leave a peck on his lips and call it good. That was the rational and sane part of him, the part that had been previously debating when and where and how to propose to his soulmate, and how to do it so that he remembered it forever.

When their lips met it was awkward, as predicted, because it was upside down. Niles wasn't versed in how to kiss like that, he'd never dated someone quite as weird as Owain before. Owain didn't let him pull away right away, though. He reached (up?) to put his hands on Niles' face, held him close. He sort of took control of the whole kiss. Niles let him. Rationality of how stupid they looked left him and he leaned into it. He dragged his hands out of his pockets and overlapped Owain's hands with his own.

The intelligent part of him that had been working on a plan must have taken a goddamn vacation, because while they kissed like idiots on the playground of a children's park, Niles tucked the ring into Owain's grasp, and made sure his fingers curled around it. Owain pulled away from him then, obviously curious, but his focus was just on Niles' face, first.

“You're a goddamn dork.”

Owain laughed and it sounded a little breathless. Niles thought it must have been because he'd been hanging off those bars for a while. “A title you bestowed upon me, yes, and I wear it with pride.”

Niles was nervous. He was nervous from the moment he'd slid that ring into Owain's hand. He was nervous knowing that Owain had it wrapped up in his palm. This was the stupidest way... there were at least  _a hundred_ better ways. But he kept a smirk on his face, pretended he was confident, and he asked “Oh? I suppose I'm glad you like the title. It suits you.”

“Giving something a title makes it stronger, you know.” Owain said, and he lifted his hands in front of himself.

“I know.” Niles murmured (and normally maybe he would pick on Owain's weird habit of naming things), but his focus was no longer on the stupid conversation about naming things. It was on Owain's face. He watched Owain pinch the ring in his fingers, and examine it. He watched him narrow his eyes just a little and turn the ring in a slow circle, to read the inscription. _As The Sun Loves The Moon_. (Part of a poem that Owain had scribbled in his diary. Evidence that Niles had read the diary, yes, but Niles thought he might be forgiven.)

Owain was still turning the band when Niles realized he couldn't just not say anything at all. The white gold was bouncing the early morning light off of it, but it couldn't carry the weight of that proposal by itself. It was just a ring. Owain had taught him nothing if not that he could be brave, and do anything he put his mind to... and Niles had always told Owain to get to the damn point. So he took both of those pieces of advice to heart. Owain's eyes flashed to meet his when he spoke up. “I want you forever.” he managed the words, but he worried they weren't clear. He put his hands back into his pockets, unsure what to do with them.

He felt stupid. Who proposed like this? Who stood with their hands tucked in their jeans while their boyfriend was hanging upside down from monkey bars and thought 'I want to get engaged right now'? He should have done it over dinner or something, but going on all day with that nervous feeling would have killed him. “You knew that. You decided a long time ago that you wanted to be _my dork_ forever.” That wasn't a question really. Niles supposed he was nervous, but not of rejection. How could he be rejected? This was his soulmate. He was more nervous about making a fool of himself.

“Niles--”

“Hush.” Niles blurted. Owain closed his mouth. Niles took a slow breath and closed his eyes, because he felt like he could draw strength by not _looking_ at the idiot hanging in front of him. “I don't just want to say it to ourselves. I hate never seeing you. I want you to be _mine._ I want it in writing, with a raised seal. Let me give us a 'title'.”

Niles didn't know exactly what he expected. Probably some dorky monologue, maybe a simple yes. Maybe questions about where they would live, what they would do. He got none of those. Instead he heard a strangled noise that was anything but graceful (and hardly even sounded like Owain), and a good, solid _thump_. He knew what happened before he opened his eyes, but he still winced when he did. _Shit._

 

…

 

It only took about ten minutes to wake him up. Niles wasn't a doctor by any means, but he'd been certified in emergency medicine as part of his career choice requirements. This was not an emergency. This was an idiot who hung upside down on the monkey bars too long, and a second idiot who didn't consider that proposing to him like that would make even more blood rush to his head, and make an already short-of-breath person black out.

It wasn't a huge ordeal. Niles sat comfortably on the ground and pulled Owain so he was laying in his arms. He elevated his head just a little with his arms and sure enough he started returning to a more natural color. He had a nice scrape on his cheek from falling face first into woodchips, too. A nice pre-engagement battle scar, he supposed.

When Owain's eyes opened up Niles was obviously relieved (a hospital visit wasn't on his to-do list), but mostly amused. “Welcome back to the world of the living.” He snickered. “How's your head?”

“Hurts.” Owain muttered. He closed his eyes again for a second, clearly taking a moment to relax and process the recent events. Niles leaned down, with every intention of kissing his head better like a true sap. He didn't get the chance. Owain's eyes flew open wide and he shot up out of Niles' arms—knocking their heads together in the process.

“ _Fucking shit,_ ” Niles gasped, and he clapped one of his hands over his nose. With his other hand he literally shoved Owain off of him, like he wasn't welcome in his lap for a second longer. Owain sat upright, but pressed one of his hands hard into his forehead. He was just leaning on the other for support. The part of Niles that wasn't screaming in angry pain wondered if that event had made him dizzy, or if he had recovered from his earlier faint. Honestly if he fainted a second time it was his own damn fault.

“Sorry!”

“That _hurt_!”

“Sorry—I'm sorry. Are you bleeding?”

Niles pulled his hands away from his nose and _thank god_ he wasn't bleeding. Yet. He hoped it would stay that way. In any case the bridge of his nose was _throbbing_ and it made him want to punch the idiot who had caused that pain. “I'm fine. What the _hell_ were you thinking, jumping like that? You just fainted, idiot!”

“I—I know, but I dropped... what happened to that ring?” Owain looked just fine. Niles didn't think he was at risk of fainting again, even with the quick movements and the unwarranted assault on his nose. For that reason he was comfortable shaking his head no.

“I don't fucking know if I want to give it to you anymore!” Niles scoffed. It was far from the truth, of course. Not a whole three seconds after he said that, he cracked a small smile and Owain chuckled and breathed out another apology (as if he hadn't already said it enough times). It wasn't entirely his fault, after all. “Come here.”

Owain obeyed the command easily, shifting to crawl the few inches of distance they had put between them. He sat with his legs crossed in front of Niles, and Niles rolled his eyes at him again. “You fucking fainted.”

“You silenced me when I tried to tell you!” Owain grinned at him. Niles supposed it was true, but he thought any intelligent adult would have interrupted him again if they were going to fall or pass out. He reached out for Owain's arm. The skin on his arm still looked a little off where he had worn the black band half his life, but it was far less noticeable than it once was. He slid his hand down to Owain's, and for a second he hesitated. He thought Owain's hands were very steady. He wasn't nervous. It was sort of amusing, but Niles was far from nervous now, too. He slid the ring in place on Owain's hand, and Niles thought it was suited to him. It looked good there. This was the sort of band he was  _meant_ to wear.

Owain leaned forward until his forehead touched Niles again, but this time it didn't come with any pain. It was just quiet affection, and he chuckled quietly at Niles while he turned his hand over to look at the ring. It was very plain, very simple, but that hardly mattered. The symbolism and the inscription were what made it a treasure. Owain said “I will love you longer than the stars burn.” Niles believed he really may have.

He reached out and slid his hands through Niles' hair, and Niles thought it was an unexpectedly romantic way to end a disaster of a proposal. Owain pulled him forward to kiss, and it was tender and gentle and slow, and Niles decided it more than made up for the mess that had been the last twenty minutes of his life. Owain pulled back, and when he did a look of concern crossed his face. “Please don't tell Leo or Inigo that I...”

“Oh you're so cute. My whole snap story is just pictures of you totally out. You were drooling in one.” Owain groaned, and Niles snickered under his breath. “You know dork, if we get married I'll be there to document every humiliating moment for the rest of your life. There's no shame in backing out while you still can.”

“Ha! I'm afraid you are _mistaken_. I do not fear humiliation! In fact, I look forward to it. To us. I'm _so excited_!” And when he said it with that voice, Niles had to admit he was excited, too.

 

 

Part II: The Nightingale Sings A Song of Hope

 

The very first moment he laid eyes on her he knew she was going to be trouble. She couldn't have been more than four years old. She was curled up on the sofa of the house, right in the sitting room. She had a book in her hands, was she even old enough to read? Most kids her age still struggled with independent reading. She was smart.

“Who are you?” She asked, and it was like she was spitting venom. She looked like she was already tensing up, already taking the defensive. Niles tried to appear harmless, for her. He tucked his hands into his back pockets, took careful steps closer to her. Just not _too close_.

Niles was pretty good at his job. He generally took on case files when children needed to be removed from a home. It wasn't always easy. Sometimes children came willingly, sometimes parents just didn't care (or weren't home). Sometimes parents put up a fight because suddenly they 'cared'. Sometimes children had to picked up and carried, unwillingly, to his car, even if they had been abused or suffering.

It wasn't a glamorous job, but it saved lives. It gave people chances.

He took on her case because it was dumped on him. She was a strange case, or at least the strangest case he had ever had. A neighbor of hers had phoned in about her. She had lived her whole life in this house only with her mother, but apparently her mother had always been distant and uncaring. This girl—her name was Nina, he knew—she looked like she had been taking care of herself for much longer than just a few weeks. She had only been living alone that long, however. Her mother disappeared. So far any attempts to find her weren't successful, but it didn't matter anyway. She had abandoned her daughter to rot in an empty house with no utilities or food or care.

But damn if she didn't look like she was just fine. Niles thought she was just a hair too skinny, and he wondered when the last time she ate something real was. He thought she needed a bath but he didn't think the water was on in the house.

He was usually given the assignments where forceful removal was necessary, because he was good at being cold to parents who didn't cherish their children. He'd been abused. He didn't tolerate it. This girl... maybe he wasn't the best choice for her. Maybe she needed a gentle voice to coerce her into leaving. He wasn't always as good at that, but for her, he tried. “My name is Niles.”

She bolted. The words barely left his mouth and she made a dash for the door. He supposed he had expected it. He managed to catch her around her waist, and he pulled her closer to him until her feet left the ground and she was left flailing in the air. She screamed. “Let me go! Let go! Stop!”

“Shh, calm down.”

“Let go!”

“I came here to take you someplace safe, Nina.”

“I don't want to go! I don't...” She hesitated, and fell slack in his arms. A complete transformation, really, it was like she lost every ounce of her fight all at once. Niles didn't know if he bought it or not. She didn't look at him any, just stared at the floor quietly. “H-How did you know my name?”

Well he knew her name because he read her file. Because she was another assignment, a task. She was a child in an unsafe situation and he had to take her to some sort of shelter. He planned to assign her to an emergency foster home, for now. She would be safe there until he could learn more about her, and decide where she should ultimately be placed, be it in an orphanage or in foster care, or ideally with her next of kin. If she didn't have any family a foster home was best for most kids, but the stubborn kids oftentimes got passed between families. There was always a chance she would be adopted...but her chances were _slim_. He knew as well as anyone that no one wanted the older kids. They wanted babies who could be named and coddled and raised just right.

“I know your name because I care about you.” And really it wasn't a lie. Niles cared very deeply about the children he helped. He wanted them to be safe and happy, all of them. The shelter he grew up in wasn't rainbows or cupcakes but it was safe. He was educated, given as many chances as he could get, and the men and women who worked there to raise him were nice enough. That life wasn't glorious by any means, but it was better than a child starving to death in her own abandoned home.

His grip on her relaxed when she went slack. He let her slide down to her feet. She took a shy step and picked up the book that she had dropped in all of her flailing, before, and looked up at him expectantly. She had long braids and big blue eyes and she certainly looked as innocent as any child he'd ever met. “I'm here to keep you safe. Just like a police officer.” Well, not really. Niles wasn't a police officer, but it was a white lie he told younger kids now and then. They knew what police officers were. They knew they were safe. They didn't usually know the term 'social worker'. “Will you come with me?” Niles expected more protest. She nodded her head slowly, wavered on her feet. This would go much easier if she willingly left with him....

...but she didn't. She thought she was tricky, like she was fooling him and making a run for it. She ducked past him and ran around a corner, and this time when he caught her it was by her wrist, and she turned and threw the book right at his face. “Let me go!”

He caught the book with his free hand when it fell from his face, and he was mad that he hadn't considered she would use it as a weapon. Luckily it wasn't hard or thick. It was a paperback, but he noticed the title and his eyes _instinctively_ rolled. _You have got to be shitting me,_  he thought. He held the book so she could see it, waved it around, and he asked “Do you like this book, Nina?”

“Don't hurt it!”

“What?” Hurt it? Did he look like he was going to burn her book in front of her? What an insult, when he had been pretty nice. He shook it off. “I'm not going to hurt the book—or you, for that matter. Go on, then. Do you like this book?”

“...Yes.” She frowned at him, a deep frown. It almost made him laugh, if not for the fact that it was too angry of a look to belong on a child. She struggled halfheartedly to get out of his grasp, but she wasn't putting up a real fight. She was just staring down that book, like it was precious to her. He wondered if it was what got her through. Maybe she was the sort of child who could, like Leo, got lost in a book and pretend the real world didn't exist. Maybe she didn't dwell on her mother's abuse because she lived in a fantasy. “It's the last book in a whole series. There are three. They're my... favorites. I love them.” She admitted.

Honestly Niles wished he could have recorded that to play for his husband later. It would have made his day. “I like to read, too.” He said, “But there are actually four books in this series. There is another one after this.”

Clearly that pushed the wrong button because she stomped her foot. “No there aren't! I know how many there are! I go to the library a lot, I asked...” She had really stopped struggling entirely at that point. He thought maybe she would listen to him, if he let go... but she'd fooled him once and he wasn't going to let it happen again, so he kept his hand firm on her wrist. He did hand her book back to her, though, and she hugged it to herself.

“Would you believe me if I told you I know the author?”

“No.”

Niles snorted. Funny girl. He reached out and tapped the name on the spine of the book. “I'll tell you a secret: His real name isn't really _Odin_.”

“Are you just lying to me so I'll go with you?” Nina asked him. Her lips curled into a deeper frown. “I don't want to go. I don't want to be an orphan.”

 _You already are_ , he thought. He would never say that out loud. Over the years he had trained himself not to blurt those things out to kids. An adult? Any time. He didn't mind hurting their feelings. He took in a deep breath through his nose, and sighed it out. At least, he thought, he may have a new advantage with this girl's favorite books. “Do you want to meet him?”

“That didn't answer my question.”

“I'm not a liar.” Well, yes he was, but not in this instance. He tried to smile at her something that wasn't a look of pity. Her life would be so much better if he could help her. He could help her find a family that loved her, where she could read as many books as she wanted and get a good education. He could get her to an emergency foster home tonight, where she could shower and have a warm dinner and bed. He didn't want to waste any extra time. “What if I can get him to come to lunch with us? Would you eat something?” It wasn't really in his job description to take her out to lunch, but she must have been hungry because she looked like she was considering it very seriously. As long as she didn't run away from him in public he wouldn't be too hard pressed to buy her something at McDonald's. 

“I... I don't know... how do I know you aren't making everything up?” She asked. He dug into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone, wiggling it in front of her in something that was almost playful. Like it explained everything, like she was supposed to know his phone was the answer to all things. She gave him a flat look and he smiled something very genuine at her. He liked her. She had an attitude a mile high, but he liked her.

He wasn't lying, either, that was the beautiful thing. Clearly some 'predetermined fate', as Owain would call it, was involved here. “Do you want to talk to him on the phone, first?”

“I—you don't actually know him! You're making this up!”

“I'm hurt. I told you I'm not a liar.”

 

 

…

 

Niles rested his head in his hand. This was by far the most unexplained and incredible thing he had seen all day. He wasn't sure what Owain had said to Nina on the phone, but he had convinced her to come to lunch with them easily enough. She was clearly excited, even, because she practically bounced on the way to Niles' car, and patiently sat in the back seat. She lit up the moment they met. She left Niles' side immediately and ran to him, and _stupid Owain_ got way too excited. He took a stance and called her a nightingale again, to her face, and that was sort of embarrassing... but she loved it. Niles practically had to usher them to a booth in the corner, and he was the one who got up and fetched their food.

He wouldn't have left that little girl alone with anyone else in the world, but he knew that she was in good care with his husband. He also didn't think Owain would let her run away. When he came back they were still just talking this time with her book sitting on the table in front of them. Nina was raising her hands high above her head and telling him all about her favorite character in the books. Owain drank in every word, answered most of her questions, but told her that he couldn't tell her all the secrets, or he'd spoil the next book.

It was really weird. To Niles, that was. They seemed perfectly content, seated beside each other on the opposite end of the booth.

They had been married for something like five years and Niles had never in his life thought Owain was the fatherly type. He'd always considered him to be too immature, too dorky. Sure, both of them saw a lot of kids in their careers, but that was different. Being a capable adult was different than sharing a bond with a child and demonstrating unwavering care for them. Was Owain the sort of person who could love a child even when they were a brat, or throwing up on him, or coming to him at 10 PM with a school project due the next day? Niles couldn't have known, but in that moment in the booth he certainly  _looked like it_. He looked like a parent.

It was the strangest damn thought he had ever had. Nina was so happy, though. Her frown had long vanished. She had a french fry in her hand for a solid two minutes before she finally remembered to eat it. It looked very... natural. Like this wasn't just a game to get her to agree to come with Niles. The sun filtered in through the mostly clean glass window behind them and lit them up, like in a movie or something, and with her big blue eyes and blonde hair she _looked_ like she could be Owain's daughter. Not to mention how happy _he looked_. He obviously loved to meet someone who cared so much about his books.

They looked like a family. People who saw the three of them together in that booth would have guessed they were a family. The word was a little intimidating. Did Niles want a family? This had never happened to him before. He didn't really know the answer to the question. He must have been staring. “Niles?” Owain's voice cut through his thoughts like a light through a fog, and he turned his attention to him. “Are you alright?”

“Tired.” Niles answered, because he couldn't rationally justify the thoughts he was having, and he pushed the paper container of chicken nuggets towards Nina (who had also paused to pass him a quizzical look). “Don't forget to eat something.”

 

…

 

Nina was placed into emergency foster care after her lunch with Niles and Owain. The family she was with had two kids just a little older than her, but that was good because it meant they had experience. Niles kept her case, and would be working with her going forward, until she was placed into a more permanent home. The home she was in was temporary and meant to help her stay safe until they could figure out what to do with her, for lack of a more delicate turn of phrase. Niles went to see her, and her foster care providers, twice a week.

This week she was angry at him. Furious, he would dare say. She had so much personality and spunk for a four year old. She was _incredibly_ smart. She demonstrated intelligence beyond her years by far, and had reading and writing levels to prove it. How she self-taught herself was a mystery. She was pouting then. Curled up in the back seat of his car while he drove her back towards her foster family's house. He glanced at her in the rear view, and he snorted at the sight. “Will you hate me forever, Nina?”

“Probably.” Oh, feisty. She snarled it, like she was trying to physically injure him. 

“It was just one little poke.” He found her mother. Not Niles personally, of course, he wasn't even remotely looking for her in that sense. Police found her mother's body. She had overdosed. Niles hated to be the one to force her to _do it_ , but that meant that he needed to take Nina to a doctor for a blood test, to make sure she didn't have any trace of drugs in her system, either. They always took kids to have a physical when they entered child protective services, but this sort of test wasn't included in the general height, weight, and urine sample sort of visits.

Niles thought he would never meet someone who was worse with needles than _Owain Dark_. Owain, a grown man who would literally turn around and put his fingers in his ears if you said the word 'needle' enough times (and Niles knew this from many experiences, it was a precious form of torment). He was _extremely_  wrong. Nina had been a terror. At least when Owain had blood work done he could be calmed with a hand to hold and by looking anywhere but his arm. Nina was not calmed by _anything._ It took his own weight and a nurse to hold her down for the blood draw, and she screeched like a banshee the whole time.

She didn't have anything in her system in the preliminary results, but they would also do a more thorough test on the sample that would take longer. Niles had been relieved. He had dealt with children with substance addictions before. It was never easy to help them heal, and it was even harder to keep them that way.

“It's not fair. You're not my dad, you can't _make me_ do things like that. I hate you.”

She didn't have a dad. Ever. Her mother and father were not soulmates, for one thing (her mother's timer had not stopped when they recovered her body), but there was just no record of her dad at all. He wasn't listed on her birth certificate, they never found any evidence around her old house that indicated his name. Niles was going to have them try and match her sample against the available matches they had, but there were slim chances they would find him, especially if he was anything like her mother was.

Nina didn't have extended family. All of her relatives on her mother's side had passed away. She was entirely alone in the world—just as he had once been. He was empathetic, if not just sympathetic. It was hard. He knew she was scared. He knew she didn't like her foster family and he knew it was because she didn't want to open up to people she would never see again at the end of the month. It wasn't her fault.

“Owain says he doesn't like needles either.” Nina spoke up, a handful of silent minutes later. “Why do you have him in here as 'dork'? That's not very nice. I thought you were married.”

Niles brows knitted together and he took ahold of the steering wheel with one hand, and to feel his back pockets for his phone. Not there. He turned to look over his shoulder and sure enough she had it in her little fingers. “When did you take that?”

“A while ago.” She shrugged it off like it was no big deal. Niles thought it was _good_ , a real talent, but not something he wanted to encourage. Nina being an excellent pick pocket was not really something he wanted to put on her case file.

“Ask before you take other peoples things.” He muttered. “And we are married. Aren't I entitled to call him anything I want?”

“Most married people say 'honey'.” Nina answered. When had she become the authority on marriage? Niles didn't think she understood who he was dealing with. Owain tolerated the affectionate term 'dork', but Niles was sure that if he tried to call Owain anything else short of something spectacular, Owain would lecture him on the importance of creativity within names. Nina cleared her throat and spoke up a little bit louder. "He said he'll have lunch with us if you pick him up. Can we go get lunch with Owain?”

He was supposed to be taking her back to her foster family. It was his fault, he supposed. He had taken Nina to lunch every time they met. It wasn't protocol. He shouldn't have been 'bonding' with her that much. He frowned, but didn't answer right away. The answer should have been no. 

“I'll stop hating you.”

"You'd better." They went to lunch. Niles put a password lock on his phone.

 

…

 

He had been on her case for the whole month and still hadn't finished up. He'd asked for an extension and they gave her another two weeks in the family she was with. Everything was in order. It was time to put her into a real foster home. He'd weighed the options with her long and hard. An orphanage provided her with more kids her age, more opportunities to develop certain social skills but... she needed a family. Niles could tell she would thrive in an environment where she had parents and a unit of people to call her own.

He just hoped she would give her new family a chance. She hadn't given her emergency foster care a chance. She had totally isolated herself from them. He came to visit twice a week to check in on her progress with them and it was always the same. They always reported that she was silent and closed off and sometimes aggressive and she always reported that she hated them and she didn't need anyone.

But she did. Twice a week he saw her and twice a week he thought she was incredible. He'd never been as invested in a child as he was Nina. She had so much potential, she was so creative. She needed someone who would see past her walls and who would help her flourish. She needed someone to take care of her, and to understand her. She was more complex than just any kid, she was...

“I hate this.” Niles grumbled, and he let his head tip to the side until it was met with Owain's shoulder. Owain was only awake to humor him at this point. It was late. Certainly past either of their bedtimes. Owain lazily dropped his head on top of Niles', too, and peeled his attention away from the quiet television to look at the paperwork that his husband had in front of him, in his lap.

“Surely you won't be bested by complex legal forms. The Niles I know is an expert at loopholes.” Owain yawned after he said it, and added through that yawn “What's wrong..?”

“I've got to give my recommendation to assign her tomorrow.” Niles answered, and he did his best not to yawn too. The damn things were too contagious, though, and he ended up yawning wide into Owain's shoulder. “I haven't found a foster home I think she'll work well with, yet. I don't want her to be bounced around a lot, I need to get this right on the first try.”

Owain nodded, but he didn't say anything. Niles closed his eyes and for a second he considered just going to sleep like that, on his shoulder, on the couch. Who needed to finish this paperwork? But he knew he had to. Nina's future was _literally_ right in his hands, and he was so invested in it, and in her, he couldn't just leave her to someone she wouldn't be perfect with.

Of course she wouldn't be alone entirely. She would still have a social worker to check in on her. Once he put in his recommendation she would be transferred to a new foster family. But... “Once I put in my recommendation, I'll have to pass her case file to someone else.” He wasn't the person who would be her 'supervisor'. He was temporary, just like her current foster home. He could almost feel Owain's frown, even if he couldn't see it.

“You won't see her again?”

“No. When we took her out for ice cream the other day—that was it.” Niles muttered. She had never had it before: ice cream. In her whole life. Her mom, Niles guessed, put all her money into drugs and let Nina live off the scraps she could find. Trying ice cream for the first time was an adventure, and Nina didn't even know where to start. They got her a scoop of chocolate and of vanilla (which was way more than she would ever eat anyway), and she tried them both, and then tried some of theirs too just for good measure, and she got a brain freeze. She _cursed_. Loudly. Niles laughed so hard he swore he almost cried, and Owain was whispering quiet apologies to the other family in the store for her slip.

Nina needed a family that could handle her, who could guide her to maybe not yell 'shit' when she got a brain freeze, but who understood that she was _alone_. She had never been raised by anyone before. She had been her mother's roommate, not her daughter. She wasn't sure how to be someone's child.

She was still only just _four_.

Owain shifted and sat up, forcing Niles to sit upright again too, which he didn't much appreciate. “You didn't say goodbye.” Owain said quietly. “I didn't—I would have made a more grand gesture if I knew that was the last time.” Would he have? What would he have said to Nina, if he had known that was the last time they would ever see each other? Niles felt bad for putting that strain on Owain. He felt stupid for putting that strain on himself.

“It's not my job to say goodbye, Owain.” Niles frowned at the way Owain looked at him. Like he was offended by the comment. Like Niles had said something wrong. Maybe it was just the tired bags under his eyes, but Niles felt a hint of guilt spread through him.

“Your job is to be a hero, Niles. You swoop in, rescue the victim, and step back. You've done your job heroically for numerous children before, and will for many more... but your job has never included ice cream parlors or lunch dates.”

Niles dropped his head over the back of the couch and hummed. It wasn't a lie. He wouldn't have gone to these lengths with other children. He would have kept his distance because it was easiest for them to move on from an acquaintance than a friend. It wasn't fair to a child to make them form a bond just for it to be broken. He supposed he should have apologized to Nina, in that regard.

“What's your point?”

“Maybe you're not really the man for the job of assigning her a home?” Owain shrugged. “After all, when one searches for a single star amongst a galaxy, it is hard to admit that one was scouring wrong galaxy all along.”

“No poetic bullshit after midnight.”

Owain snorted at him. “Niles, you love her. You're looking for someone else who is going to love her the way you do, but I don't think you'll find them. Maybe... you should recommend _us?”_

Owain must have lost his mind. Niles tilted his head to the side and look at him, waiting to hear him say he was kidding, but it never happened. Niles supposed he was glad it never happened.. Owain smiled at him with a dopey, tired smile and Niles closed the folders in front of him and pushed them onto the end table to the side of the sofa. They could do it. They were certified anyway, Niles had to be for his job. They could foster Nina. Niles supposed that he had known the day that he met Nina she would be a pain in his side for the rest of his life. He was looking forward to it.

 

Part III: The Epilogue

 

 

_Leo and his soulmate had a long road of ups and downs ahead of them. They conquered their initial discontent with one another and became very good friends, and a few years after college they eventually began seeing each other romantically. Leo went on to work in the same company as Xander, and once their father passed away he worked with his brother to change the way the company operated, and to reduce polution, operation costs, and to make it publicly owned. It was a grand success. Leo and his soulmate chose not to live within the city limits of Nohr, although Leo worked there each day. Their relationship was a happy one, among their family and friends. With years of convincing, Takumi eventually forgave Niles and Inigo for their jokes about the 'ugly ponytail squad'._

 

_Shortly after college Inigo was given the opportunity to participate as a performer in an international ballet. He was given the chance to travel through Europe, and meet a slew of lovely ladies. Unluckily for them, he was very much taken with his soulmate, who managed to find the time to join him in his travels after the reform of Xander's company. For two years they saw the world together. They tried weird food, learned about other cultures, and eventually eloped, before homesickness and a desire to 'settle' led Inigo to take a job back in Nohr as an instructor in a dance studio. Elise and Camilla's fury among learning they had eloped was unrivaled. Together they adopted two children, both of them the lights of Inigo's life and the reasons for his ongoing coffee addiction._

 

_Nina was ecstatic to be taken in as a foster child by Niles and Owain. It turned out, she loved them just as much as they loved her. She had her expected ups and downs but as a general whole loved them very much. She also loved being the first to read Owain's newest books, and having input on the characters. She loved her grandmothers (who spoiled her rotten) and she loved her uncle as well, even if she thought it was funny how easily he cried._

_Owain and Niles eventually went through a surrogate to have another child. Nina loved her little sister very much, and in spite of her initial doubts, she learned that her parents had enough love for both of them by a mile. They were as close as could be._

_When Nina was thirteen, she made the decision that she didn't mind if Niles told her what to do anymore, and that she wanted him to be her dad forever. In writing. With a raised seal. She surprised him (with some help from Owain) with adoption paperwork._

 

_Every day Niles thought that Owain was still a gift from a very merciful god, and honestly he didn't deserve him. He was always thankful that he had been given a soulmate, even if his timer had been broken. He never got used to the sparks when they kissed, or the comfort when they touched. Once upon a time he thought he was destined to be lonely forever...But spending his life with Owain Dark was a far, far better fate._

 


End file.
